I am preparing for my death.

No, I am not a crank, this is not a suicide note, not for a cause unnecessary suffering or juvenile giggling and nor am I entering the last mile of my life (touchwood).

My question is can you think of anything that is overlooked in this inevitable hand off we all face in life?

So far my mind has concentrated on issues such as: wills, insurance, thinking of ways my inheritance goes to my loved ones rather than the government, deliberating whether I should consent donate my body parts to society and how to make sure that my family members don't end up footing the costs for my disposal.

There is this article from Fast Company to enlighten those who have not thought about death in this way: http://www.fastcompany.com/online/30/benchmark.html

I know people usually avoid thinking such thoughts but I am not one of them. Such planning doesn't mean that I am going to invite any of you to my funeral, after all I am sensitive enough to acknowledge that I might outlive all of you.

-- Mark Zorro (zorromark@consultant.com), October 27, 2000

Answers

I am sure that there isn't going to be many people who would even contemplate an answer to this question. IMHO very few have faith in what lies beyond and therefore remain uncomfortable with questions of mortality. Yet to leave such a question unanswered is to forget that the most important aspect of life is what we leave behind and these days a mere legacy is not enough.

If there is one thing I remind myself during my precious time on Earth, it is that the moment I begin to feel good about crying usually coincides with the moment when I have also forgotten how to laugh.

I am only confident that I can "outlive" you because I know most people don't think they have time to pay attention to how to live. I truly believe that Gods greatest gift to us is our mortality because the idea of living for eternity here on Earth gives us no where else to go, but while we are here I always advocate we make the most of the time given to us.

I am still interested in knowing what you think I need to do in order to make sure all of my affairs are in a tidy order the moment my hour glass has finally run out of its allotted sand. Even the best planned home parties still have an end but the kitchen still needs to be cleaned.

Regards M.

(Mark Zorro is a pseudonym)

-- Mark Zorro (zorromark@consultant.com), October 29, 2000.

This is from today's Richard Lieder article at http://www.fastcompany.com/wp/leider/1000.html

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"The tragedy of life is not death, rather, it is what we allow to die within us while we live." What dreams do you need to actualize in order to live a life of no regrets?

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Leider is right on the money and that's why people like Leider and people like myself will always outlive you. The mistake I find people make is in counting life by numbers whether it be time or money, rather than adding value to create a sum total of different experiences.

So what answers do you have to my original question?

-- Mark Zorro (zorromark@consultant.com), October 31, 2000.

Mark I will take it seriously. You seem to have most practical things covered.

One thing you might consider is looking back over your life and seeing if you could make amends for any wrongs you may have committed, people you have hurt or suchlike. You could also include people you wish to thank in any way.

Best

Tom

-- Tom Weir (tommy@ireland.com), November 01, 2000.

Welcome the tip Tom, but personally I believe that feelings should never become a transaction. If I hate someone or love someone, I own that hatred, I own that love, whatever I feel is mine to keep. If I step over the lines of acceptable behavior, then society has provisions to punish those offences. If someone loves me, or hates me, it is upto me whether I accept someone elses gift, until I do, it does not belong to me.

I know when to apologize, I know when I have done something wrong, but I believe fervently that forgiveness is a "now" thing, not a "then" thing. The worst that ever happened to me was that someone stabbed me twice with a knife, one wound in the chest and one wound in my thigh and hey, but that was yesterday's news, life goes on, you can't keep carrying the bad, when when what can truly lighten our load is the good we recognize in ourselves. If something doesn't heal, try to heal, if it still doesn't heal, recognize that it isn't healing.

At someone's funeral most people don't speak badly of the dead so I figure why would they harbor unhappiness and let that weigh them personally down when they are alive? That is something that always puzzles me, why people do wait for the pearly gates to open for another before they let go of the unspoken or the restless inside of them.

Anyway, I appreciate the thoughts, you're a good sport Tom and I do respect you for that.

-- Mark Zorro (zorromark@consultant.com), November 02, 2000.

What is the legacy you are leaving behind? Other than money/property. How are you enriching people? Society? The earth? What matters to you? If the above are irrelevant, what *does* matter to you? Do it. My aim is to die enjoying having done the things I have done, and having done all that I wanted to do.

...pat.

-- pat anderson (patash@sympatico.ca), December 14, 2000.