A few questions:
What's your costume for Halloween this year?
What is your all-time favorite costume?
What is your dream costume? That's all.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Answers

Hmm. This year, I'm dressing up as a fancy ghost. I found the costume in one of my mom's Martha Stewart magazines--it's this no-sewing- required thing made out of seven or eight layers of tulle. Tulle costs a goddamn fortune, I'm spending more on this costume than I've *ever* spent on a costume, but it's going to look great. I'm going to tie little white flowers in my hair and wear sparkly makeup (that's the "fancy" part).

My all-time favorite Halloween costume? I was a playing card in 6th grade. I think I was the 5 of Hearts. My mom made the costume out of some white fabric and four dowel rods (two at the top, two at the bottom). I wore a headband with a fan of playing cards hot-glued to it. It was an awesome costume, really. I'd do it again if I had the time/talent/creativity.

My dream costume: hmmm. Glamorous 40s movie star, maybe? It wouldn't be that hard to do, except I'd need a wig because it would not be possible to style my hair in a glamorous 40s movie star hairstyle.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Ooo ooo, I love Halloween and look forward to it all year. My costume this year is Neeley O'Hara, from Valley of the Dolls, as portrayed by Patty Duke. I have a shitty bouffant wig, a flimsy nighty, and crazy Lucite heeled slippers. A little smudgy liquid eyeliner and I'm ready to go. Plus this costume gives me an excuse to carry around a bottle of liquor all night long. My all-time favorite was also my fifth grade one- I was a "time machine"- I had a poodle skirt, a tie-dye shirt with peace sign buttons, an 80's frizzy/puffy hair-do with lace bow and a 70's crochet purse. Of course no one got it, but whatever. My dream costume is actually the Neeley one, so I'm living my dream

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

This year my attire will be one of Shaggy from Scooby Doo......I currently look like him so I figure, what the hell.

My all time best was 3 years ago where I went as a Motley Crue Roadie, dirt ball and all.

Dream costume.......Alf! Why not you know?

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Every year I come up with a witty costume to wear to work...among them such classics as "Guy Who Has An Extra Vacation Day and Plans to Use It Today", "Guy Who Was Surprised to Receive a Huge Raise Today", "Guy Who Takes Computer Equipment Home All the Time and Nobody Questions It, Even When He Doesn't Return It", "Guy Who Speaks His Mind to Upper Management and Never Gets Fired", "Guy Who Gets a 6 Hour Lunch", etc. These never go over as well as I think they will. Offices are joyless places.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

I'm gonna go as my dad this year. No one will get it, but the fact that I'll spend the entire night giggling should be enough to amuse my friends.

Last year my band played a halloween show and we all dressed like cowboys with big huge hats and chaps and fake paper boots and holsters. I was a gay cowboy. I had a tiny little hat and a chin strap and tassled chaps and vest. I even made some spurs out of toy chinese throwing stars from CVS. I think that was my favorite...

Dream costume? I think my dream costume would be Ralph Machio while dressed like a walking shower stall.

-- Anonymous, October 24, 2000

Since my friend Maggie is having her annual theme party, this year's theme is to come as a super-hero or villan that doesn't exist. I was planning on coming as "Pimpatron" circa 1970s pimp and avenger of injustice by night. But that got expensive. So i've found a Yellow Nehru suit and I've grown a goatee, so i'll be Dr. Evil's evil twin brother. Who is thus, Good. (anyone remember that Spock's evil twin was just Spock w/ a goatee? Also, I'm really not a nerd. I just knew that bit of shared popular culture. I swear!)

My all time favourite costume was probably the year I went out as Flash Gordon when I was a kid. I just wore my Flash Gordon pajamas (which came with a cape!) and there I was. Does this show my age?

And I have NO idea what my dream costume would be. None. Whatsoever.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 2000

This Years Costume: Parasitic twin, with wetting action. (Half a Betsy Wetsy taped to the side of my shirt, with a hidden squirt gun so that it really wets.) Go ahead, tell me I'm a sicko.

Last Year: A bugzapper. Chicken wire frame, with black light and twinkly purple christmas lights wound in it. Bugs stuck to chickenwire. Complete with extra-long heavy duty extension cord. "Bzzzt!"

Best Costume: Pink T-shirt with brown circle painted on it. "What are you?" "I'm an asshole!"

Worst costume: Me, five years old, in a trash bag wearing sunglasses. "What are you?" "A raisin!" "You look like a turd." Thank god school was only a half-day.

Dream Costume: Hmmm. I'd hate to limit myself to an unbeatable costume. I can always come up with something more bizarre. No 'Dream Costume' for me.

-- Anonymous, October 30, 2000