DEVELOPING A REFLECTIVE LIFE IN THE MIDST OF TURMOIL

One of the most important things you can do in life is to simply find time for yourself. By this, we don't mean opting out of society or "spacing out". Value yourself enough to give yourself time to simply be, without any expectation of goal or result. Paradoxically, by doing this, we can often achieve far more in our externally focused lives than we otherwise might.

When our lives are primarily externally focused, it becomes easy to lose sight of the gameplan. What are we doing all this for? What is the point of it all? Like too many stressed out corporate "high-fliers", we may reach the very top of the ladder, only to find that it is leaning against the wrong wall. The joy of simply living all too easily evaporates as we postpone our pleasure for some unspecified future date. We don't allow ourselves to be happy NOW, but instead promise ourselves that when we have got that promotion, or fallen in love with that ideal partner, or had that baby, bought that new home, or become a millionaire, THEN we can be happy. Meanwhile the present time, which in truth is all we ever really have, quietly slips away.

The biggest trap is to work for money. Many people do this assuming that once a certain amount of money has been amassed in the bank, or once they can see the sheer immensity of their assets laid out before them, THEN they will be truly happy. Again, it is an utter illusion. The truth is that you have to prepare your mindset for wealth first or else (a) you will never truly achieve it because your inner mind will forever act to keep you within your comfort zone or, (b) if you do achieve it, you will not have developed the habits of mind to be content with it anyway.

Tony Robbins tells about how much he wanted to become a millionaire but once he actually achieved it, the thrill lasted for about ten minutes. After that, everything felt just the same as before. Yes, there are many millionaires who are happy. However, there are many who are as equally miserable. In fact, many of the latter would agree that their prime cause of sorrow is the money itself; fear of losing it, dissatisfaction at not being as rich as so-and-so who is worth ten times more, etc. The key point is that money itself is not the determiner of happiness and purpose. A correct state of mind IS.

Capturing our purpose is THE most important thing we can possibly do. It is not the work of a moment, an hour or even of a few days. It is an ongoing project that brings more riches each and every day. By doing this, we discover who we really are and why exactly we are here. The truth is that you are here for a purpose. You manifested into this life for a reason. So how do we go about discovering this purpose?

The first thing is simply to make time for yourself. Treat yourself as precious and important and find times to be alone in quiet reflection upon your life. Many people meditate to gain deeper insights about themselves. This is certainly immensely valuable. However, if you feel uncomfortable with meditation at this stage, then simply creating moments in the day when you can ponder and wonder can be deeply beneficial.

At several points in the day, try simply closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. Turn your attention inward and remember whatever it is you need to, and as you let your breath out exhale all your tension and concerns. David Kundtz, in his excellent book "Stopping", calls these brief moments in the day "Stillpoints". They are easier to do than meditation because they only take a few seconds. However, if you do about fifteen or so of these a day, it can make a tremendous difference to your inner calm and perspective on life.

You can also do what Kundtz calls "Stopovers". These are slightly longer breaks lasting from several minutes to several hours, where you take time to specifically do NOTHING. This is important. There is no agenda. You simply give yourself time to BE. You listen to your body and what it has to say.

You listen to your inner intuition and gradually develop the ability to hear its valuable insights. You develop Openness and gradually by-pass the inner critic that filters out what you heart's desire really is with negative thinking and being "realistic". By giving yourself more time to simply be and experience your own "beingness" without preconditions, you gradually awaken to what your soul's purpose is, one step at a time.

Dr. Asoka Selvarajah

I find that just sitting still is wonderful-not meditating, not praying, just being still and closing my eyes. It is extraordinarily difficult for me to do this, but when I try there are immediate results. Try it. It may make a difference in your day.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), September 15, 2000

Answers

Coincidence this post stands unanswered till now?

Thanks FS!

Another person/website to check out is Vernon Howard and the NewLife Foundation. Been an anchor in my life since my teens(teachings of Vernon Howard).

Not like any 'round here will take that recommendation as anything but that of a madman, but do take a look anyhow. Life is too precious to waste "chatting" and reposting "shakey" gifs. Reminded again by this post.

-- Doc Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), September 15, 2000.

Got any tips on how to quiet the mind?

-- (shutup@in.there), September 15, 2000.

Many thanks to both of you.

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), September 15, 2000.

Good stuff, Doc and FS.

Got any tips on how to quiet the mind? shutup@in.there

Stay off webboards for 48 hours?

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), September 15, 2000.

Before I met my present girlfriend, my philosophy of life could be summed up by the bumper sticker that says, "A bad day of fishing beats a good day at the office." Or, basically, I lived to fish.

Now that I have a girlfriend, who is even stranger than I am in many ways, I have broadened my interests -- from bass to walleyes!

And to think that last year at this time, the only walleye fisherman I knew were over fifty and 103% male.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), September 15, 2000.

Dear KB, that was too funny! So what, your counterpart is different. Examine your differences, and seek the history, he/she roads traveled at such a difference. You do have to continue to ask, some are shy about sharing. And will not offer their experience, unless you persist. Your Call, on this one.

-- Church Fan (hand@waver.com), September 15, 2000.

It's Friday night, Todd Rundgren's on the CD, the wine is chilled to perfection. I'm currently practicing Sitting Here Doing Absolutely Nothing. After this post ..... No Agenda. No truck. No job. No board.

Life is good.

Thanks, FS and Doc. Just what I needed to end my version of Hell Week :-)

"Then you gazed up at me, and the answer was plain to see.....'cause I saw the light in your eyes."

-- Patricia (PatriciaS@lasvegas.com), September 15, 2000.

Dear Trish, your response was funny as hell! How can it be funny? because I am surpassing that state, it isn't easy. Thank you for the laugh. Ones life experience.

-- Oh Lord, won't you (buy@meamercedesbenz.com), September 15, 2000.

Got any tips on how to quiet the mind?

-- (shutup@in.there), September 15, 2000.

Fair enough...can we persue this further? Can you share more about yourself? Not name or that sort of thing, just more personal thoughts.

What.. have you tried? have you tried..any formal procedure?

What do you want to change about yourself?

Can tell you most of us already do things in our lives to quiet the mind, normal. Thus I I do not believe it is THAT hard a task. It is more our attitudes. Very easy to become self absorbed. Course I am the lone exception on the planet to that, and am always centered and completely free of distraction ~;O

I think one needs to recognize the need to be alone and quiet is as normal and needed as a good drink of water. We all need to reboot, at least daily. It is OK to be selfish in this regard.

-- Doc Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), September 16, 2000.

ok, well, solitude doesn't shut it up. and quiet would be nice, but if I could just focus on one thing and push all the others out of the way - that would be great too. The only way I can really focus is to keep my lips moving, though that's not gonna work too well in public, esp if something slips. not too picky - anyone got any suggestions - either on how to focus or quiet the mind? thanks

-- (shutup@in.there), September 16, 2000.

OK I think you need to find a Meditative procedure you are comfortable with. I say find one, cause there are many. So my advice would be to learn how to calm your mind using Meditation.

To find one's center, and develop the ability to return there at will (live there ultimately the majority of your life), you have to learn how to control the swirling thoughts running rampant over your awareness. Until you do this, you are AT their mercy.

This link appeared in the first 5 from a google.com search. Looks like a decent place to start. I would also seek out a webboard where the topic is discussed.

Very important in the process is really AFTER your exercises. Your life is going to change guaranteed. Why? Because the way you operate will be more and more in unfettered reality. This may cause some around you to scratch their heads. Why is "joe" different? Others will not like the new you entirely. Many of your ways exist to keep the spinning of your thoughts going, and thus when this process is reversed, there will be resistance.

Not to fret, your life awaits. It is THE most important skill you will ever learn. Many give lip service to Freedom. Without the ability to be master of your own being, Freedom is but a "concept". Nobody ever gets it 100%, but even a 10% gain makes huge differences. The critics are them swirling thoughts who will not like being vaporized in the light of reality. You fight them the real way, thru patience you will develop thru meditation.

-- Doc Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), September 16, 2000.

You could take a look at this page. I've only used this technique a little bit, but I think the theory makes sense.

-- ABC (a@b.c), September 16, 2000.

Help! I am too centered, too balanced, too mellow. I bore myself. I bore everyone around me. How can I escape this doldrum and release my inner, dynamic being?

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

-- (Paracelsus@Pb.Au), September 16, 2000.

ABC,

I would definitely NOT recommend that website you offer. Remember, we want to cut the dependence on the "outside" world and become whole. The link is a rehashed Scientology.

This process DOES not have to be in any way connected, to religious beliefs, of any sort. One can pray without being a Christian. God knows this and has already forgiven.

-- Doc Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), September 16, 2000.

ABC,

Sounded my usual harsh self above. Let me clarify further. And I hope you understand I am not saying there is no value at that link. By fact you found some value there is, there is some.

However for newbies, I think one needs these procedures sans ANY dogma.

The link provided tanks when it infers that one can save themselves-- wrong. If this were true, one would not seek help. What we can do is commit ourselves to timeless principles and disciplines. Thru this process one is saved. I think it critical the difference is understood.

The link is about the age old problem of EGO. Gods Church as they call themselves, may have some benefit, but I would venture this is by blind luck. Most religious training works, if at all, by accident. Yes they do have the real help. Unfortunately these items are rarely the centerpiece of any organized religious experience. Thus what tends to happen is you end up with many dependent followers and a guru. The exercises become little more than activities of going thru the motions.

I think the goal here is a realignment. Clogging the process is the ego. Represented by the many competiting thoughts swirling thru a persons head constantly. We need to realign ourselves to the timeless, unchanging nature and principles. All we are really able to do is step(even this is not of us, but from him). The rest will take care of itself once the first step has been taken.

Hope this clarifies why I believe the link to Gods Church lacking in any real long term value.

-- Doc Paulie (fannybubbles@usa.net), September 16, 2000.

No hard feelings, Doc. You're certainly entitled to your opinion, and as long as you state it in a reasonably civil way, you won't get any objections from me. Of course, I realize that not everyone is going to find the "Universal clearing process" interesting or want to try it themselves, but I think it has validity without any regard to dogma. As always, the proof is in the pudding.

-- ABC (a@b.c), September 16, 2000.

I'd been happily tending my flowers, watching birds and butterflies, visiting with Prince, my resident frog, when all of a sudden my life turned into a heap of malfunctioning rubble, due to problems all rearing their ugly heads at once. And my mind just keeps going from one problem to another problem in a loop-fed process that keeps me awake and destroys my peace. Thanks for this thread FS. And thanks for the links everybody.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), September 16, 2000.