Old or country sa'ns. Long! [stories]

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"Hang by the willers"---to hold on while it's tough. It'll get better. "Finer'n a frogs hair"--everything is ok. "Don't trouble trouble till trouble troubles you"-be cool. "Let sleepin dogs lie"-don't stir up trouble. "Bought right- half sold"-don't pay too much for something. "Tail end of nuthin whittled down to a point"--nothin to start with. "Orta be hung"-passin judgment upon somebody. "Cuttin firewood warms you twice"-once cuttin and once burnin. "All'a them politikens are crooks"--SELF EXPLANITORY!. Still true! "Just the checkers"---just what we needed. "Rite smart"--Good choice. "Smart"--to hurt. "Shinny'n up a tree"--to climb a tree. "Barkin a knee"--to skin your knee. "Goin a tradin"--takin eggs, chickens etc to town to trade for grub. "Cain't make a silk purse outta sows t--" -not much to work with. "Worthless as t---on a boar hog"--something that is of no value. "One man, one row-ten men, ten rows. Damn one man"-- need more help. "Little red nuthin to slip up your'n sleeve"--nothin expected. "Blessed is he that expects nothin- for he shall not be dissapointed". "Meaner'n a snake an twice as ugly"--mean people. "Purty purty, purty ugly and purty apt to stay that way". no change expected. "Clumsey's an ox in a china shop"---AWAKWARD"Fool an his'n money soon parts"--to spend money foolishly. "Shadin the truth"-to fib just a little. "Pathway to hell is paved with good intentions"--procrastenators. "Straight is the path and narrow is the gate"--the honorable walk in life. "Good'r, better and finer'n snuff an not half as dusty". "Ugly as a mud fence in rain"-"been hit in the head with an ugly stick or hammer or club". "Grasshopperin ones life away"-foolin away your life. "If you dance you gotta pay the fiddler", "Into each life a little rain must fall but nobody said it's be a downpour". "Toad-strangler"-heavy rain. "Blinkin llike a toad in a hailstorm". "Danged straight"-tellin the truth. "Everclear"-moonshine, "Whittlin your life away"-same as "grasshopperin. "Smart as a dull knife". "When they passed out brains-he was asleep". "Spendin money like it's water". "Waste not want not". "Monday hired, Tuesday tired, Wednesday fired". "A man that does only what he's paid for isn't worth what he gets". "Come in this world with nuthin-leave with a suit coat split up the back". "Life is hard but so's die'n". "Hold'r down Newt-she's rearin". Just a few of the old say'ns I've heard in the past. Ole Jeep still talks like this yet. Me, a hillbilly? You orta see ole Jeep! Yep, we're both hillbillys. Matt. 24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), August 18, 2000

Answers

A few more. "Beat'm like a redheaded stepchild". "Shet you'rn mouth afore a fly flys in". "Quicker'n greased lightnin". "Hoe corn all day fer a nickel-blow is all at once in a second". "The more ye invite trouble the more ye become friends". "Thot I made a misteak but later found out I was wrong". "Only one man wuz perfect and they kilt Him". "Strong drink will lead ya straight to hell". "Don't look on the wine whin its red". "Good ole ax, seven new handles and 3 new heads". "Days were made to rest and nights made to sleep". "Fiddle all day and sleep all night". "A woman can throw out more with a teaspoon than a man can carry in with a scoop shovel". "Stay outta tha bottoms, tha bears'll git ya". "Its' 5am-yu're burnin daylite". "5 am is the shank uv tha day". "Work all day like a dog and be treated like a king at home". "Womans work is never done". "Men are like bad pennys-they alwas come back". "If'n ya cant' stand tha heat stay outta tha kitchen". "White man bild a big fire- set way back. Indian build small fire-set real close". "Whin Jesus calls, don't ya be asleepin". "May you be in heaven fer a half hour afore tha devil knows you'rn dead". "Once burnt, twice shy". "Buyer beware". "If'n it sounds too gud to be true then hit prably is". Matt. 24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), August 18, 2000.

Hey there, Hoot! Loved the country sa'ns. Thanks for posting them. Heard quite a few of them in my life. Here's a few more...Cuttin the fool--act silly. A poor excuse is better than none. Comin' up a cloud--storms comin. Busy people are happy people. Plum wore out--tired. Come here and give your momma some sugar--a kiss.

-- Annie (mistletoe@earthlink.net), August 20, 2000.

Hoot:

Jeff Foxworthy could do a couple of programs off of your sayings.

-- Ken S. in TN (scharabo@aol.com), August 21, 2000.


A few more---"Only two blacksmiths ever went to hell, one for not chargin enuff and the other for poundin cold steel". "Keep a stiff upper lip", "The more I see of some people the better I like m'dog". "You jest ain't whistlin Dixie". "Cain't beat a dead horse". "Stompin grapes ain't healthy". "Christmas is fer kids". "Wouldn't give a nickel to see an ant eat a bale of hay". "Barkin dogs don't bite". "Leave sleepin dogs lay". "Chicken livvered coward". "All bankers are crooks". "Close shave--3 days below the suface". "Only 3 days difference betwixt a good haircut and bad". "Mosey on over and we'll eat fried hog". "I hate turnips-they meake me belch". "The best helpin hand is usually at the end of your arm". "Sown in distrust, reaped in sorrow". "Plowin on the back 40". "If God wanted us to fly He'd give us wings". "All bankers are crooks". "Tighter'n a knats butt stretched over a rain barrel". "When all is said'n dun thars usual more said'n dun". "Ford--found on road dead or fix or repair daily". "G.M.C.--gotta mechanic commin". "Everybody is a little bit crazy". There are bunches more but I'm gettin tard of thankin of'm. Hit taxes m'brane too much. Matt. 24:44

-- hoot (hoot@pcinetwork.com), August 22, 2000.

Honeys a roofer, just a few........'How'd ya make out with that new guy?' "He's dummer than a box of rocks, stronger than an ox, an he ain't afraid of heights!, Gave 'em a raise, first day" This said with a straight face! One job, not paid; answer to sob story "Don't piss down my collar, an tell me it's raining-is your roof leakin'? Good, mine is. Me and the family will be over around 7." (He got paid) Etc. and so on, it works both ways! He tried to B.S. a Scot, the guy looked at him an said,"What do you take me for, a dern turnip!" The two of them went out for hours after that one, became great friends, and when the stupid arguments come up....somebody says.....what am I a turnip?

-- Kathy (catfish@bestweb.net), August 22, 2000.


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