Last nite's TNT epi featured Kerry uttering one of my all-time favorite "ER" lines"People live in pain. They suck it up and move past it." I was wondering if anyone else had favorites. (As far as comedic lines, I hold Jerry's "Your mother's maiden name was Satan?" and Rocket's "What's it been, like. . . . oh who the hell really cares?" particularly close to my heart.)

-- joy (joygirl01@yahoo.com), July 11, 2000

Answers

I'm not sure if this counts, since it was a hallucination...But in "Who's Appy Now," when Benton is waking up from his appendectomy, and he sees Carter hovering over him, Carter smiles and says, "Doctor Benton? I'm pregnant." That cracked me up, and it looked like Noah was having a VERY hard time keeping his face straight enough to say the line. This is the only one I can think of at the moment, but I'm sure I'll come up with a more poignant example in a while. :)

-- Cecelia (evilstoat@hotmail.com), July 11, 2000.

I wonder how many takes they had to do when Noah said that line in "Who's Appy Now"? In the episode "Last Rites" from season 6. Carol asks Lucy where Dave is and she says "try the coast guard, maybe he's off doing search and rescue". I thought it was hilarous!

-- Cammie (rmaelhorn@home.com), July 11, 2000.

I'm not sure why, but I love the one where Ruby tells Carter at his wife's funeral, "Don't you see Dr.Carter? This day's not about you." There's also Carter's "Oh sweet Jesus!" when he notices it's Gant in the er. later

-- Ryan Mulligan (pxpres@idt.net), July 11, 2000.

"Oh, you do that with your little sister?" - Chuny

-- JLS (ewwhatevr@aol.com), July 11, 2000.

Um, let's see...Mark to Chen and Malucci: "You know why I only had one child? Because I didn't want to listen to two of them arguing in the back seat of the car." Another favorite is Dr. Dave: "Chief, am I a yuppie?" Kerry: "No, but you will be when you grow up." And my all time favorite, that instant Carter classic: "And we all know what happens after the JAZZ club!"

-- Jennifer M. (jenbird@earthlink.net), July 11, 2000.

These were all classics. But one of my favorites comes from Yosh Takada:

"Mr. Goodwrench is tuning up a patient."

-- S. Trelles (trelles@ix.netcom.com), July 11, 2000.

Ooh! Ooh! Yoshi, upon interrupting Benton and Finch "discussing a patient":

"I could go for a little discussion myself." Gotta love the Yosh! I wish we got to see more of him.

-- Cecelia (evilstoat@hotmail.com), July 11, 2000.

I loved it when Mark said to Romano - 'Are you comfortable with sending the message to your residents that their opinions are worthless and they are just here to 'serve you' '? Romano - 'Yes, I'd be completely comfortable with that image' I love all Romano's lines!

-- Vicki (ms_peachy_pie@hotmail.com), July 11, 2000.

I wanted to post the same exact thing! Joy, I am glad you did it first. Anyway my favorite line was when Elizabeth said to Cleo, "A simple yes Elizabeth will do." My second favorite lines are anything said by LUKA!!!

-- Lisa (lisayas@yahoo.com), July 11, 2000.

I love Elizabeth's line to Peter: "I've managed to cut back on my Romano exposier." And Peter said "How did you accomplish that, garlic?" And Haleh and ROmano's disscussion: Romano:"Didnt think I had a mother, did ya?" Haleh:"Just trying to picture her."

-- Stephanie (ERGirl22@aol.com), July 11, 2000.

There are so many, but the one that first popped into my head was from "All in the Family" when Chuny tells Conni and Yosh that she broke up with a guy. Conni: "I thought he was the man. Chuny: "So did my neighbor." Yosh: "Ouch!"

-- Carla (chloe4293@netscape.net), July 11, 2000.

Well, most of these are humourous, and I have many of those, but this one was really good too, from the Pilot (i think..), it's Susan (Lewis) to a patient who has a mass in his lungs and it's probably cancer. She's telling him that it's not confirmed to be cancer, while he's losing it. Susan, "(Mr. Parker)...If there's one thing you learn in my job, it's that nothing is certain. Nothing that seems very bad and nothing that seems very good. Nothing is certain. Nothing."

-- Jo (chinge05@saucerville.com), July 11, 2000.

Those are all great! I'd have a hard time picking just one of those as my favorite. I'll see if I can think of one that hasn't been said. Kerry was yelling at Carter and Jing-Mei about being ready to work at 7 on the dot. Carter: Today's going to be fun. Jing-Mei: Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the coffin! Jerry and Kerry were talking about his supposed IQ. Jerry told Kerry that he had an IQ of 150. Kerry said, "That's impossible! My IQ is only 145" Jerry replied, "Can I help it if I'm smarter than you are?" Oh, one more. Lucy asking Dave what to do with a patient. (I don't remember exact wording here.) Lucy: So, is this amount okay? Dave: What? How much **** should I give him? Dave: Well, turn it down. If he turns blue, crank it back up! Lucy: You're kidding, right? Dave: No, purple's not good! Sorry, I just love all those lines! :o)

-- kristal (teetle1@juno.com), July 11, 2000.

My all-time favorite line(s) came about in 'Carter's Choice.' It was the discussion between Benton and Corday. *paraphrasing here*

Corday: How long's it been since you've had something really juicy Peter?

then later...

Corday: I've made you blush!

That whole scene was played so well...and of course, that smile of LaSalle's just gets me everytime.

-- Jen (noahfan@juno.com), July 11, 2000.

Jerry's comment to Carter about Chuney's friend "What's a matter Carter, you think she's seen a few too many...you know?" and Carter groans.

Doug's "I'll wait" to Carol in Carter's Choice.

I don't remember it all, but I loved Mark's whole speech to Carter in the pilot; about how you get past the sickness of working in the ER, because "it's not about you, it's about them." and his "I went to med school with Benton, and he got sick ALL THE TIME...so don't let him give you a hard time."

The carrot scene...Carter and Carol staring at Lucy "Ooo....I get it." Carter pats her head. :)

Romano's "How much would you pay for my sperm?" to Elizabeth.

Blizzard, Carter: "I can't seem to get this thing off." Susan: "You have to let it dry first."

And everyone's favorite from this season, "But it's Carter, your mind just doesn't go there."

I will definitely come up with some more.

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

oooh...this is hard. Great thread, Joy! Ok, the above are all great (of course), and Joy, the pain one from Kerry was kinda b****y, but so Kerry. she has to deal with a lot of hidden pain too I guess...huh, interesting. anyway, here goes nothing:

Anna, to Carter: "Gosh, it's expensive having a rich guy for friend."

Well, the whole deal in "Whose Appy Now" with Mark's 3 dates! ROFL!

"Whose Appy Now" (one of my fave eps), Hicks to Carter, etc.

Hicks: Dr. Carter, are you disappointed? [to be performing the appendectomy] Carter: Frankly, yes. I mean, it's just an appy. Hicks: Wait till you see the patient (smirks) Carter: (looks at gurney, sees its Benton, smiles, scrubs harder) Oh, there is a God!

"I'd like to make a call to Seattle," (Carol, Great Expectations)

um....

oh oh here's one, also from the PILOT:

Benton, Susan, Doug, Mark, at admit.

Benton: oh, will you look at that.... cut to: Carter, soooo young, playing with a chart. Mark: (the ol' rolly chair thing) That's the first tailored white coat I've ever seen. Susan: Think he knows anything? (Carter accidentally slams the chart on the hand bell) Doug: He knows how to dress! Benton: Well, he's my student...

and then:

Benton (to Carter): Have you ever put in an IV? Carter: Uh, no. (blank face) Benton: (shows him quickly, telling the mumbo jumbo) Got it? Carter: Uh.... Benton: Good. Now, we head over to the suture room. Ever done sutures? Carter: Uh...No. Benton: (sighs) Ok, (to patient) Hi, I'm Dr. Benton and this is Mr. Carter. Uh, (to Carter) You know how to put on surgical gloves? Carter: Uh...no.

:-) I liked the Pilot.

Um, k, this is long, so I'll say something later. see yaz!

-- Katie (writegrl@aol.com), July 12, 2000.

from Power (roughly)

Mark: So Carter, I need to ask you, what was going on in there...I mean between you and me?...I felt this weird kind of energy, like you were being territorial, or admiring me, I don't want to say you were flirting, because obviously you weren't doing that, flirting?

Carter: Oh man, I spilt all those pharomones on me, that might have been what you were picking up on.

Mark: Oh, is that what it was?...pretty far fetched...(suspitiously looks at Carter's hand on his shoulder)

Carter: I mean I admire you, but that was it...I better get these to the lab.

Lydia: Get him?

Mark: Got him.

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

Elizabeth: Robert, this is a dog. Romano: Correction, Lizzie, this is MY dog.

I just can't settle on ONE favorite line! AAAAARGH! :)

-- Cecelia (evilstoat@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

Susan, in one of the first episodes:

Male patient: Are you single?

Susan: No, I'm a doctor.

And Carol to Mark in "Great Expectations:"

Am I boring you?

-- Cathy (cdomrois@qfctc.com), July 12, 2000.

So many to chose from. But I loved from season 2 early on some time (I think in "Days Like This") when some strange homeless-like guys was in the ER and Carol just deadpanned: "Who's is this?"

I used to also love the mini exchanges between Doug and Randi. And another favorite from Random Acts, about the mystery book (also a former line of the week):

Jerry [about the mysterious story] "You gotta read the part about the gentle giant at the admit desk." Chuny: "You didn't mind that he was neanderthal?" Jerry: "More brawn than brains -- he's a dude."

-- Larry B. (larrybro95@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

Another one I liked was in "The Good Fight". I'm not sure if the wording is correct but Carter says to Lucy "you fought the good fight Lucy. Tomorrow you'll fight another one." I liked the carrot one as well even though I still don't get it. If someone knows what they meant by "he didn't swallow it" and "that's a classic" will you please tell me. Is it a medical term or something.

-- Cammie (rmaelhorn@home.com), July 12, 2000.

How old are you Cammie? ;-)

No, its not a medical thing. You just need to think about it. :)

-- JLS (ewwhatevr@aol.com), July 12, 2000.

From "The Birthday Party" when some guy is trying to set himself on fire. Carter is trying to talk him out of it while Benton just sprays him with the fire extinguisher(SP?) Benton:"When you're finished making new friends Dr.Freudd, Sparky here will need a shower and an eye wash" I'm not sure if this is the exact quote but its def. one of my favourites. Also like Carters little" just call him Dr Pete"in season 6. Ahh i do miss the Carter/benton relationship. It was full of great lines.

-- Linda (mouse235@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

I've actually typed a few of these up for fun, but here are some of my faves:

"Hell of a life!" "What?" "Hell of a life!" "Huh?" "I said, I want to have sex with your wife!" - from Feb 5, 95

"Hey there, dumbass!" "Doug, he's waving!" - from Ambush

"Jerry, stop watching that TV before I rip of the wall and beat you to death with it!" from The Storm Part II

"Is there some natural disaster I don't know about. An earthquake or half of Chicago's swallowed by a giant sinkhole?" - from Such Sweet Sorrow

Your father was there for you and your mother every night and thats love, whether its what you wanted or not. Thats love, Mark. You grew up in Ozzie and Harriet land. Get your head out of your ass. from Father's and Sons

Those are just a few!

-- Joanne (bucklind@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

Somebody help me out here with the eppy but... There were girls in the ER trying to take pictures for some kind of scavenger hunt and when Kerry heard about it she made some flip comment about making the girls split the $$$ with her if they won. She probably has the record of the most original flip answers that I can think about. Miss Dry and Sarcastic but I love her character!

-- joan (joanofarc24@hotmail.com), July 12, 2000.

Carol: "Ugh, TV doctors" --Hell and High Water

Susan: "Carter, do you know the names of the constellations?" Carter: "Well, there's Moe, and there's Larry, and that's got to be Curly." --Motherhood

Carter: "Dr. Benton, I heard there were 11 med students applying for the surgery sub-i next year, and I was wondering, if I were to apply, what would my chances of getting it?" Benton: "I would say, 1 in 12." Mark: "You ask a dumb question..." --(I forgot)

Anna: "ooh...it's going to be a looong night in the laundromat" --"Good Touch, Bad Touch" (I think)

There are a LOT more, I LOVE, but I just can't think of them right now!! :-)

-- Kimmy (swiss_cheesed1953@yahoo.com), July 12, 2000.

Joanne, I was going to post Marc talking to the helicopter pilot. That line is great. Thanks for posting it. My other favorite line(s) is when Susan is in therapy and she mentions to the therapist "Susie's birthday is next month...did I tell you that". She mentions it so many times. It's real touching.

-- Carin Haseltine (cdenisehaze@usa.net), July 12, 2000.

I just thought of another of my favorite lines. It's in the episode where Lucy was learning tae bo. Lucy and Carter are examining a patient and after Carter leaves, Lucy asks Chuney "was he looking at my ass?" And Chuney nods or says yes. I love that line.

-- Carin Haseltine (cdenisehaze@usa.net), July 13, 2000.

This is kind of funny...I read, I think on the ER weekly (Daily during the ER season) website that someone took A. Edwards's line that Joanne posted (the "I want to have sex with your wife" line) while he was on a plane or somewhere where he couldn't hear the guy and delivered that same line to him and Edwards didn't understand him either! I laughed because you would never get the article that said this unless you remembered that line.

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), July 13, 2000.

Here are some that I think are funny:

One from Season 1 when Carter and Liz were trying to make out in one of the x-ray rooms and some doctor walks in and sees them (I forgot his name- wasn't Dr. Kason, but some other guy that used to be on there) and he said something like "You know what they always used to tell us in med school - S 1, S 2, S 3, S 4, keep that pelvis off the floor!"

Also, when Carter had a hickey on his neck from Harper and Dr. Benton walks by and says "Carter, you have a hematoma on your neck."

Dr. Romano's line to Elizabeth from earlier this season: "Lizzie, when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me!"

And I loved the scene on the TNT rerun a couple nights ago where that big guy who knocked over the snack machine was trying to hit on Randy and asked if he could call her sometime, and she was annoyed at first, but then when the guy said he had been in prison once and was cleaning his life up now, Randi held out her hand, smiled and said "Prison, huh? Hi, I'm Randi!" You wouldn't get that line unless you had seen the earlier seasons where it was revealed that Randi had been in jail once herself. That scene totally cracked me up!

-- Melanie (msintn@hotmail.com), July 13, 2000.

Doug saying to Mark about Kerry's med student candidates: "Stick a fork in them, they've been "Weavered".

Susan to Mark: Boy I'm glad I have all the right brain chemicals.

Carol to Doug after he had been to see her mother,"You can run but you can't hide!"

Elizabeth's mother, "Parents don't try to embarass their children on purpose, it's too easy to do on accident."

-- Casey (steinbec00@netscape.net), July 13, 2000.

From this week's ER Rerun on NBC - Mark & Elizabeth on the fact that their parents are "doing it": Liz: "So you think they're going to keep on doing it?" Mark: "would that be so bad?" Liz: "well will it be your place or mine?" (obviously I paraphrazed but you get the idea).

David Greene to Mark Greene: "she'll be back in London soon and I'll be back on your couch and then we can be unhappy together."

-- Linda (l.brown@mindspring.com), July 13, 2000.

Oops - I forgot the wonderful Carter/Benton exchange: "we all know what happens after the jazz club" and "just when did you loose the filter between your mouth and your brain??"

-- Linda (l.brown@mindspring.com), July 13, 2000.

Yes! I just heard that one, and that is one of my more favorite lines!

"I like her Mark, she makes me happy. Now I'm sorry if that makes you unhappy, but she'll be going back to London in a few weeks, then I'll be back on your sofa bed. Then we can both be unhappy."

-- Kimmy (swiss_cheesed1953@yahoo.com), July 13, 2000.

The "call him Dr. Pete!" line is my favorite too!! I also liked the "If anybody needs me, we'll be in the MENS room." Any conversation where Mark talked with Carter about the job is a favorite of mine, especially if it was in the ambulance bay.

-- colleen (coll_4688@yahoo.com), July 14, 2000.

I agree w/Colleen about the ambulance bay so long as the shot did not include their feet :-)

-- Linda (l.brown@mindspring.com), July 14, 2000.

a current favorite that i just saw on tnt the other night is the scene where Carter tells Mark that the 2nd year med student who was shadowing him wandered off to see a surgery with Benton and Mark says something along the lines of "It's not the passion but the sum total of what you've done that makes the difference" and then asks Carter if he wants to help do chart reviews. Carter seems to hesitate a second, as if thinking really hard about helping with such a boring task when there could be something more exciting going on, but then says "sure" and reaches over and grabs a pen out of Mark's shirt pocket. I thought it was kinda cute how Carter just reaches over for the pen, and Mark looks down and is like, "yeah Carter, just steal my pen why don't ya". I think the most telling thing about this scene is that Carter reacts like an almost grownup- one think i've been learning (I'm 20, so i'm kinda not totally a grownup yet!) is that adults do the little somewhat tedious things like paperwork and kids tend to blow that kind of stuff off to do more interesting things, and it's cool watching a character figure some of the same stuff i'm figuring out too, even if Carter's character is several years older than me...sorry about the length of this!

-- kim (miss_lucy21@hotmail.com), July 14, 2000.

Dave: How come you get to do it?

Carter: I'll call you if he needs his oil changed.

-- mags (hotboxgirl@mailcity.com), July 16, 2000.

"You're a young doctor, learning, making mistakes, saving lives...it takes a lifetime." Dr. Hicks to Dr. Benton (Faith)

Doug: "You know, I love sitting out on this porch with you, it's..." Carol: "Something new." Doug: "Something new."

Carol: "You bring a child into this world, and you think that they're helpless, but actually, I think it's us, I think we're the ones who are helpless." Doug: "We probably are, but that's why you love them as best as you can, and teach them as best you can, and then you wish them good luck."

"I can't remember a time when I didn't love him." Carol to Mark (The Storm II)

Carter: "I don't have that kind of authority, I'm just an intern." Fireman: "Could've fooled me." (Exodus)

"Each day we work together as a family. Because we're a family, it's no secret that it's been a rough year for me. So I want to thank each of you for helping me through a hard time.....thanks for being my family, I couldn't have made it without you." Mark (Gut Reaction)

"It's been a wonderful year because of all of you." Carol (Everything Old is New Again)

-- Elaine (mrsclooney78@hotmail.com), July 18, 2000.

I don't think this is the best line but is certainly is one of the most confusing lines. Mark :" He's been seeing them" to Carol about Doug and the twins.

-- amanda (amanda.rehm@home.com), July 19, 2000.

Yeah, Amanda--I think I heard the echoes of a great shout all over the world when that line was said: "What the HELL?* :)

-- Cecelia (evilstoat@hotmail.com), July 19, 2000.

Gosh, I have so many.

Randi: What is that? Dave: All's there was in the lounge was a box of Captain Crunch and a jar of milk Carol: Oh god Dave Dave: What?

Dave: Hey Jesse, I'm Doctor Dave What seems to be the problem? Jesse: I don't feel so good (Jesse vomits up paint) Dave: That's certainly colorful

Dave to Carter: And if you're a good boy I'll let you see my pirana scars

Dave: Have you seen the tool kit? You know the do it yourself kit with the hammer, screwdriver, and nails? Randi: What are you going to do? Build a tree house?

Luka: My family was taken Kerri: In the war? Luka: Yes. And then killed

Don't remember much of this one

Mark: Dave, what seems to be the problem? Dave: Mr. ****** here has something something something. All the signs of appendicitis. She expects him to(loudly into the phone) GET UP AND JUMP AROUND!!!!!!!!

cAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE RIGHT NOW.

-- Molly (dan_miller_da_man05@hotmail.com), February 27, 2001.

My favorites are:

"They couldn't diagnose a cold if it stood up and sneezed on them." - David Morgenstern,

"Stick a fork in 'em, they've been Weavered." - Doug

"Ugh, TV doctors." - Carol

I have a whole list orginized by season but I need some help with season 7. If anyone has any season 7 quotes please send them to me. Thanks!

-- Bekki (Beckibear1@aol.com), March 05, 2001.

Dr. Benton's "Never underestimate the elasticity of the anal sphincter"

and earlier this season, paraphrazed

Weaver: you came down here because you needed a sugar fix? Romano: America's poor eating habits are what keep us in business... Weaver: Did you even take the Hippocratic Oath? Romano: I had my fingers crossed

-- (rae_mil@yahoo.com), March 06, 2001.

okay, I don't know the lines exactly, but it was recent. When Kerry tells the young man with the persistent erection to try masturbating. he says he can't do that because he's a Christian. She says something to the effect of "Then we'll drain it with a needle." and he says "where's the restroom?"

-- Lisa (dlcorbin@cs.com), March 07, 2001.

Hmmm... Kerry:(sadly) He's lying, Mark. Mark: I know.

Mark: I know, but it's Carter, you're mind just doesn't go there.

Kerry: Show us your wrists. Carter: What? Kerry: Show us your wrists!! Carter: What are we looking for, track marks? Kerry:(sadly) Yeah. (All from May Day)

Chuny: Oh, Lucy.

Romano: The nurses can do that. Kerry: I know.

Kerry: Ohhh...

Elizabeth: Time Of Death: 2:56.

(All from All In The Family)

Kerry:I've been on the outside my whole life fighting for acceptance and now you're asking me to do it again? (Witch Hunt)

and, of course

Carter: When you do every thing that you can, sometimes more than you thought you could, you've got to walk away knowing you fought the good fight. You fought the good fight, Lucy, and tomorrow you'll fight another one.

-- Teddy (richarr@earthlink.net), June 17, 2001.