What are you most worried about right now?

greenspun.com : LUSENET : jolene : One Thread

Fears. Anxieties. Paranoia.

I think that all new parents go through some sort of "freak out" over something, so what's yours?

You're prolly not alone in what you're afraid of, let's get those fears out here and help each other through 'em! (=

-- Jolene (jolene@lanset.com), June 16, 2000


You want fears? You've come to the right place! heh.

For my almost 5 year old girl, my biggest fear right now is that in just two months our little girl starts kindergarten. My wife stays home with the kiddos, so this will be her first year away. She has loved Sunday school, ballet and swimming lessons, but she has never been away from us that long! She's such a sweet little girl...the thought of her being hurt....sigh....we will be a huge mess on that first day...I predict a lot of tears and worry...and that's just the parents!

-- Bob (and_if_I_die@hotmail.com), June 16, 2000.

I worry about being a good mom. I want to show Evan all my love, help him grow, learn and develop into a happy and healthy child. I worry that my relationship with my husband will become too easy to always put on the back burner and one day we'll look at each other and see strangers. I hope that my worrying will help me be a good mother and remember not to forget about the man I married or our relationship.

-- Krista (eyetalic@yahoo.com), June 16, 2000.

Okay, this is totally my hormones talking, but give me a break. I have a three-week-old. ;)

Last night, and at various times during her three-week duration on earth, Daisy will just scream and scream at the top of her lil lungs. Last night she screamed with me (I was the only one home and it was too hot to go out) for five straight hours.

As soon as we got Dan from work, she was fine.

Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs for five hours. Well, you know what I mean.

I feel like my daughter does not like me. Why did she scream for me for five hours but behave like an angel for her dad? I know it's ridiculous, my child doesn't know what hate is yet, but it sure feels like she hates me right now.

-- stasi (stasi@sweetpeas.org), June 16, 2000.

Evan cried quite a bit the first month or so. Sometimes they just cry for reasons we can't understand. Maybe she was picking up tension from you also, and when Dan was there it was better. The heat probably doesn't help things either. I remember some nights when Evan didn't want to sleep but was so tired he would cry and I would cry and feel like I was the worst mother in the world. He STILL hates going to sleep and fights it big time, today has been one of those days where he wont nap and gets increasingly overtired and irritable. I'm tired because I was up late with another bad migraine and I'm exhausted.

She doesn't hate you, you're doing a good job. It does get better, I was so afraid it wouldn't but everyone said it would, and it has. Some kids are just fussier than others. Hang in there!

-- Krista (eyetalic@yahoo.com), June 16, 2000.


No, you are right. She hates you. heh. Just Kidding!!! My wife used to worry so much about what kind of Mom she is...still does, actually. Your love for Daisy is so obvious, to us and in her own way, to her as well.

When Princess Ariel (as she wishes to be called) was a little baby, she would wail almost every single night until she feel asleep. We tried everything. Wrapping her up like a tight burrito worked for about two weeks..then she got over the thrill of cocooning.

Then the strangest thing...we finally figured out how to keep her calm before falling to sleep. I would carry her in (of all places) our walk-in closet...where she would soothe herself to sleep by running her little fingers through her mommy's clothes. Couldn't be my clothes, that would get her worked up again...and it couldn't be Mommy holding her...but hey, it worked, so we were thrilled.

Our second child is quite the opposite. Never gave us trouble about falling asleep. To this day he will tell us when he's tired and ready for bed...and falls to sleep in less than 10 minutes. Good boy.

-- Bob (and_if_I_die@hotmail.com), June 17, 2000.

We are flying to Texas to see my family. My wife is bugged enough by flying, now add the presence of a six month old baby to the mix...

-- Rob Rummel-Hudson (rhudson@digitalism.com), June 20, 2000.

Eee!! Good luck with that Rob!

As for me? Hrmph. Oddly enough, I'm most worried about my relationship with my mother. There have been some seriously horrendous (in my opinion) things that have been going on with her that are making me feel like taking my daughter and moving to another state. It's so horrible because I really want my daughter to know my mom and dad, but if my mom and dad want to know my daughter, my mom needs to back the hell off on a couple of seriously important issues.

-- Jolene (jolene@lanset.com), June 21, 2000.

Good news on the baby-screaming front. I guess it's just a matter of getting to know her, but I'm finding some little tricks that work to make her happy in an instant...

one thing that helps me (and her) is to have a time out around 2 pm. I just put her on a blanket (wouldn't want her dying of floor germs, you know) in her room, and we just sit there. No toys, no music, no talking, we just sit on the floor (well, she lays, I sit.)

Then I put her in the sling for the afternoon or as long as I can handle feeling pregnant again. This seems to work really well. Now that I know how to use the sling without having her hang halfway out of it or being suffocated down at the bottom of it, that is...

Right now, Dan is singing Simon and Garfunkel with her. She has hiccups. Hiccups indicate happiness, we've found.

-- Joanna (stasi@sweetpeas.org), June 21, 2000.

Really?!? Awesome! Jessica gets the hiccups ALL the time! Now I just won't worry about it so much, I guess. (=

-- Jolene (jolene@lanset.com), June 21, 2000.

I worry about what kind of mother I am, of course. I'm a SAHM, and I worry that Grayson doesn't get enough outside stimulation, and I can't overcome a certain degree of shyness to get out there and join mother's groups, or play-groups. I worry, too about Grayson getting his feelings hurt (even though I *know* it will happen). Like the other day in Target, he was blabbing out something and a little boy about 3 imitated him and went "ba, ba, ba, ba." I immediately felt this protective instinctual rush come over me. It was the first time anything like that has happened, and I just didn't expect my reaction.

-- Allison (allison@nccoast.net), June 21, 2000.

Allison, I so much know what you mean about worrying over the feelings of your child. My wife told me of a time at the park when our 4 yr old girl tried desperately to get two older boys to play with her. They kept running away from the "little girl". She thought it was all a game, but my wife knew that they really were trying to get away from her. She said it was all she could do to not break down at the park.

I'm just as sensitive to it. My gosh, if you are nice to my kids, I can forgive just about anything else. You're my friend for life.


-- Bob (and_if_I_die@hotmail.com), June 22, 2000.

I totally agree, Bob. I want Grayson to be sensitive, but god help him if he's as sensitive as me. I'll be the one bawling and he'll think I'm crazy.

Also, parents (not referring to anyone here) need to teach their kids to be nice to children, too. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "mean people produce little mean people." So true.

I want to teach my child to like everyone unconditionally, that everyone has faults, but you don't point them out to others.

-- Allison (allison@nccoast.net), June 23, 2000.

I worry that *I* am not getting enough outside stimulation! LOL! I got up at 7 am this morning just so I could go out to Target and the grocery store by myself. I feel so refreshed and relaxed now, it's scary. And I even am tempted to go wake up the numbsky because I haven't seen her since 7 am.


-- stasi (stasi@sweetpeas.org), June 23, 2000.

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