This may be a strange thing to put on the forum but here goes...Some days I get so discouraged with trying to press on in this lifestyle...I am not depressed or anything like this but sometimes it is so hard!!!

Even tho I am almost 48 years old my mama still criticizes the way I raise things in my garden (I try to not use commercial fertilizer or poisons and I usually have a beautiful garden!)...

My husband is struggling to begin a homebased business so he can stop his long commutes into work...And some people are saying he's crazy to give up a "well paying" (but highly stressful job where he has to travel!!!)

I am blessed that my office is at home for both newspapers I write for and I am paid fairly well for that but dealing with governmental politics just about every day makes me want to pull my hair out...

Do any of the rest of you simply have days when all you want to do is sit and brush your rabbits? or dig in the garden? and just simply escape from all the problems??? To me our home is our sanctuary but we've been included in a small town's police jurisidiction and they've threatened to try and annex our 13 acres and I've responded that I will have all my news buddies, big and small, from throughout the state, here while I chain myself to a tree in protest :) so they've not said anything about annexation lately...

wouldn't it be great to just be left alone and not have to worry about the world's problems? but I guess that is a utopia I can only dream about..

So I think I'll hunt the notes I need to write two articles and then set it aside and go and check on all my rabbits, take a stroll through our garden and check for pests, and then have a nice refreshing cool drink before I tackle any more "worldly work."

-- Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), May 24, 2000

Answers

Oh yeah, I have those days. I usually want to build a fence though - a big, tall fence all the way around the farm....

Trying to deal with the local bureaucracies when you need something from them, like enforcing the laws that they are paid to enforce (like the neighbors with the 30+ junk cars, illegal cesspool draining into your watershed, who just happen to sell methamphetamine on the side) is a royal pain in the rear, I couldn't imagine immersing myself in their dealings on a day to day basis! Carry on, brave lady!!

Pop occasionally grouses at me about the way I do some things around here, sometimes I humor him, sometimes I say "We did it your way for forty years, now it's my turn to do it my way. You can say 'I told you so' later, if you still want to." I now have my raised bed garden and clothesline - both of which he swore he'd have nothing to do with, and both of which he's giving me advice (orders) on how to do/use now. Ah well, I love him - wouldn't change him for the world. Well, maybe just a few, tiny, little, inconsequential things!!

As for hubby, somewhere off of the Lehman's link from Countryside's main page, I got to a place where they have articles for Mom's who want to work at home - maybe you could incorporate some of their research about health benefits of not being out working and traveling etc... and work it into the conversations. Or smile, hold out your hand in a stop motion, and pleasantly but firmly say "I'm sorry, I'm only accepting positive input on that issue today." Say it over and over if you have to. You are not required to justify your rationales on this matter to anyone (unless, of course his home based business is like my neighbors, in which case....).

Keep up the good work and keep up your spirits - and keep coming back here, where most of the folks are kindered spirits (and where you can skip the posts from the ones who aren't!).

Good luck!

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), May 24, 2000.

I know what you mean, Suzy, around here it seems that everything is breaking- tiller, my car, furniture...Then I've had some tough school days, money troubles all around. It wouldn't be so hard if hubby wasn't such a pessimist, but somedays I just can't deal with it. To top it all off, we have to go to a huge family & others occassion on Sunday in the suburbs that I am just dreading. We are the only ones who homeschool & homestead and some of the gals have been rather condescending in the past. Add to this demanding/critisizing parents and yes, it does make me want to hide away at home! Now, this probably sounds worse than it is! This morning a hen hatched out her darling little chicks and we have 4 cute kittens. The fresh air & sunshine did me a world of good while hanging the clothes out on the line this morning. The children are busy today with grass mowing & other chores which is a big help. So I do have blessings to count! Be encouraged, dear, and know that you can always come for sympathy here. And at the risk of offending anyone, I will send up a little prayer for you today. I do enjoy hearing from you! Polly, I'm going to memorize your positive input statement and will use it! Thanks!

-- Jean (schiszik@tbcnet.com), May 24, 2000.

Around here we call digging in the dirt "Dirt Therapy". This is my hubby's escapism. I do the laundry by hand and hang it in the garden for my own personal morning spiritual time. The best things in life really are free!

-- Sandy (smd2@netzero.net), May 24, 2000.

My day started out like that. I'm down to 2 chickens and 1 rooster. I lost my rooster yesterday to heatstroke, and barely saved the other one. They're in my cages in here. I was so upset last nite, and ready to throw in the towel. I'd read about chickens non-stop for 2 yrs., started on my chicken house this week, trying to get the inside of this building ready for company, lining up stuff to do next week to start preparations for the tearing down of house and preparing the site. And I can't even keep my chickens alive... Not to mention the loneliness and rejection we get for living this lifestyle... I think I need time on my riverbanks with my Bible, whether I have time or not! I was in tears last nite and this am and wondering if I'm ever going to learn to do this homesteading thing right!

-- Louise Whitley (whitley@terraworld.net), May 24, 2000.

Suzy, We all have days like that. But remember with your chemical allergies that you wrote about in another thread, you're gonna feel everything a little harder, it's part of the problem.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), May 24, 2000.

Sounds like business as usual!

I usually opt for either playing in the sandbox with the kids, mowing the lawn, or weeding the garden on those days. And after a few minutes of de-stressing I thank God for the many blessings he has given me, and my cross isn't so unbearable anymore.

-- Eric in TN (ems@nac.net), May 24, 2000.

We all have days like this, I try to look at all we have accomplished at our place, and not think about all that is still left to do, or what blessings we have, our animals, family, etc., and not what we don't have, or what just broke for the 4th time this week. Spend some time just doing something totally peaceful..walk in the garden, read a book, watch the chickens, build a sand castle, divide your plants, and pot them for a friend, etc. Best of all, get on this forum and see what others are doing. There are some great folks here, with all kinds of opinions and experiences to share, Have hope, it will get better, Jan

-- Jan B (Janice12@aol.com), May 24, 2000.

I can relate. Whenever we have stuff we have to maintain it, fix it, buy it, and keep it operable. Its a never ending story.

As to getting it right with this homesteading thing---I'm always making mistakes with one thing or another, but I do learn from them. When the goin gets tough I tell myself, this too will pass and it does. Part of the adventure is the learning and the challenge, tho it can be trying at times.

Its important tho to take/make time for yourself and do the things that soothe the soul and re-energizes the batteries. Failing to do that will catch up to us eventually and thats when we get depressed.

So---enjoy the day, count your blessings and keep on keepin on.

-- john leake (natlivent@pcpros.net), May 24, 2000.

Trust in God, for He WILL take care of you. Don't worry, we all, (yes even at my age), have down days where we don't feel like doing much. Just relax...read a good book, dig in the dirt, go for a walkand glow :o) (See the encouragment post above)

-- Abigail F. (treeoflife@sws.nb.ca), May 24, 2000.

boy you sound like me !!! with almost 10 days of on and off rain and 4 kids 4 and under i feel like i am in a race i will never win. make a list what has to be done , what can wait aweek, what can wait a month . this year we have been in a war with a neighbor , animals have died of unknown happenings and bills are piled up ,but babies have been born plants have grown and best of all we all have good health. some days i look at our place and wish we could move but then i take out photos from 4 years ago and realize how much we have done and how lucky we are. it helps to look back and see the changes good and bad,it grounds you. good luck best wishes.

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), May 24, 2000.

Maybe looking back to see what we've accomplished is a good reason for us all to invest in that homestead journal! Or at least keep one of our own.

-- Jean (schiszik@tbcnet.com), May 24, 2000.

Suzy,

Even tho I *am* 48 years old, *I* still criticize the way I raise things in my garden (and other things! Bad "tapes" left over from childhood!) My husband is wanting to begin a homebased business so he can stop his not-even-very-long commute into work...And some people are saying he's crazy to give up a "well paying" job without a need to travel!!! Sounds like we sorta have things in common!

I love what we are shootin' for here. However, there are days when it seems so ludicrous to keep it up... I was making excellent money at a 6 mile commute. I could even come home at lunch and check on the livestock. But I quit b/c I hated working in a corporate environment. I did what I could for 30 years, and finally told myself it was time to hang up my hat! At the office, I had to run an "ethics test" on my self every day, to make sure my values weren't getting too blown apart.

Here I can do my day as I see fit, as nature sees fit, and move with so much more ease, even with all the troubles and occasional hardships. At least I understand the rules.

You are sensible, and from the sounds of it, very capable. Managing your work schedule with home and spouse *is* challenging. But you can do it, because you WANT to. Take a deep breath, feel righteous for a moment, admire something you have completed that has value, and pat yourself on the back! Good job! You will surely keep getting support from those of us who can relate! Best to you.

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), May 24, 2000.

You are certainly not alone,especially here! But I'll keep this very short -- DITTO -- on all the above. You are loved, please remember that always.

-- Phyllis (almostafarm@yahoo.com), May 24, 2000.

Suzy, know exactly what you mean! Am so glad you posted this question and really glad to read everyones post. Makes me feel like I'm not alone. I have just about stopped watching any news on tv. Just made me mad. We are also trying to make it so hubby could be at home, but sometimes I get so tired of watching every penny so we can try and get things paid off. It's usually the outside things that I can't do much about that nag at me. Sometimes I feel like if I could just stay on top my hill and never come down, then I would be very happy! My family thinks I'm a hermit as it is! They just don't get it. My mom thinks I should wear make-up more, go shopping and why in the world would I want to work so hard at home. It's funny, but when I'm doing the hardest work outside in my garden, is when I'm the happiest. Peace and quiet and good and tired when I come inside. Now, that's living and that's what most people are missing. You're not alone in the way you feel, sometimes it's like swimming upstream, but it sure is nicer once you get there.

-- Anne (mistletoe@earthlink.net), May 24, 2000.

Thanks so much for posting. Your post really uplifted me. I teach autistic children and have over an hr commute one way. Sometimes I think I am insane but I make good money where I am at, well.. more than in VA., I work in NC. I had a really tough IEP or individualized educational plan to do today conderning inclusion of a student where lawyers were involved and it was taperecorded. The attorney for the parent was rather picky with me, questioned my every goal and statement, well.. thats attorneys for you. When I got home I sat with the goats after milking and one kid (goat baby) hugged me from behind and nuzzled at my face as if to kiss me... It doesn't get any better than thi. I'd love to stay home but I also love what I do too. thanks again for posting and remember, god blesses us in little ways everyday. Look at the positive, half full not half empty and it changes your perspective. Bernice

-- Bernice (geminigoats@yahoo.com), May 24, 2000.

Suzy, I have days like that. Sometimes, they even drive me to eating too much sherbet. This week, I was driven to ignoring most of the chores and reading "Angela's Ashes" and playing in the yard with the kids all day, until sunburn drove me in. It is normal to feel how you do about losing animals, and you will figure it all out.

I just get through those days, looking hard for joy in distractions, and remember that this, too, will pass. People are amazingly resilient, and it helps me to remember that if I can survive death of loved ones, my failed marriage, etc, etc, then surely I can get through this day.

Raise what you want in your garden. Fill the whole darn thing with nothing but sweet peas, if that's what you want. Brush the rabbits -- they won't criticize you. Take care. Remember to be a good friend to yourself, too.

-- Rachel (rldk@hotmail.com), May 25, 2000.

Suzy-

Yesterday was a bit of a rough day for me as well. I can't seem to slow my life down at all, and by some standards it probably isn't all that fast. It is faster than I want it to be though. Even church has become a bit of a burden lately, and this really concerns me. My family is hanging right now, not sure whether or not they still have a contract to grow hogs for Cargill and subsequently a means to make the huge farm payment. Quietly I hope the contract is gone; a contract hog farm, even though very, very small by comparison (280 sows vs. 4000) is still such a hassle. The company is always wnating us to spend money on some "improvement" which of course eats away at whats left after the bank takes its share. I sometimes wonder if my in-laws would have made such an investment had they known what a headache this has turned out to be (again relieved I decided not to purchase the place). I believe God will provide a way to pay for the place or allow some sort of deliverance. But on the same note, it is my desire that his will be done, and if it is his will that they (we) stay in the hog business I will need patience and ability to persevere.

Then it is also easy to become disgusted with the public school system. As a teacher I see a somewhat distorted view of what our society has become. It is somewhat distorted because my 10, 11, 12 graders are still very immature and I assess the downward spiral of society based largely on what I see in them. There are good students in public schools, no doubt. They are a pleasure to work with. But the following statements generally apply. The lack of values and desire to see good in others or the need to help anyone other than themselves is widespread and disgusting, and it comes from their parents. The talk of using alcohol and drugs of all sorts is not even attempted to be hidden in whispers by some students, and substance abuse is prevalent among many of the rest as well. Five of my female students have had or will have had babies by the time this year is finished. It amazes me that there are not more pregnancies based on what I have seen in confiscated notes or overheard in passing conversations. There is no repsect, and our principal said yesterday in a faculty meeting that this has been the worst year of theivery on campus that she has ever seen. Scores are low because many students flatly refuse to study and try to learn. Granted there are some teachers that dont try to teach and simply draw a check, but at our school the quality of nearly all teachers is good. I think I am safe in saying that if a student fails or make a D in most classes, he/she did practically nothing in class. One of my biggest faults as a teacher is that I give too many breaks and extra points. I will wind up passing some students because of extra points. While I am blessed with pretty good administrators, the politics of the public school buearocracy is offensive - if not here on the state level. I am convinced that when my wife and I have children we will homeschool. Some way or another we are going to fund the lifestyle. I just dont think I will be able to continue teaching longterm because of the corruption and politics, and I certainly don't want my children exposed to it. They will get their fair share of these problems in due time. It seems a wiser move for parents to teach their children what is important in life early, impressing values upon them, and gradually expose them to the ways of the world, teaching them how to manipulate their lives through the world as they grow. This after all is a parents job, not a teacher's in a public school with who knows what kind of moral values, if any at all.

Suzy, you and all the others homeschooling your children are doing the right thing and are doing them a favor. Those of you who have family members that think the kids are better off in public school need a good healthy dose of the day to day work and activities inside a public school. I will continue to do the best I can at teaching until we get some debts paid off and can afford for me to start a home-based business, but I think when I can finally afford to work at home I will be much happier.

I am making these comments at school year's end while tired and ready for a break. My patience is thin now, and I will feel better about my job this fall after regrouping and "resting" (ha!) at home on the farm this summer. I am very thankful to be employed and able to pay on the debts I owe. A good dose of hard work and sweat will be good for my soul, though.

Best wishes guys. Neal Mays

-- Neal Mays (mays@raptor.afsc.k12.ar.us), May 25, 2000.

What a wonderful, caring place this forum is!!!

Thank you all for your encouragement and for sharing your stories!

I'm really going to apply the "dig in the dirt therapy!"

I have printed out everybody's replies so that I can read them over and over throughout the day when I start feeling blue again!

This morning I have a major article in the daily newspaper that I write for and the phone has been ringing off the hook because the local paper kind of watered down the issue and so I just turned the same article into the daily and they used it exactly as I wrote it originally with no watering down and no changes!!! I'm certain there are a lot of local politicians who are extremely angry with me today.....but I still feel a deep obligation in my reporting....I feel the public has a right to know what is going on with our government, on the local, state and national level....WHAT WE DON'T KNOW CAN HURT US!!!

So far so good with all the animals today (i.e. no more dead bunnies so far!!!) The "community" Tom Cat is really looking rough. He has some sort of rash on his head. So I gave him a bath yesterday and put medication on him and he looked better this morning and gobbled down his breakfast. He isn't mine legally but he hangs around here most of the time. He has long hair and he is beautiful. He was pretty calm when I gave him a bath even tho cats don't usually like baths and then he sat wrapped up in a warm towel in my lap for the longest time and just purred and purred so I just sat and held him!!! That was a really special time and made me feel good!!! he is very sweet spirited for a Tom Cat and doesn't bother the other animals or anything like that. (Then I disinfected everything with bleach to make sure we don't spread the rash he has!)

Yesterday I cashed in aluminum cans to buy gas for the mower and some meat for supper. We had slaw from our first cabbage of the year from our garden so that was great!

But it's bad to be our age (some say) and still not be more financially secure....financially secure....I'd just like to make it form paycheck to paycheck....LOL

But thank you all SO MUCH!!!!!!!! You've made a little old' Alabama gal feel much better this morning and you will never know how much I appreciate it! Suzy

-- a humbled Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), May 25, 2000.

And yes, I know, if we could get even more and more self sufficient we wouldn't need to get from "pay check to pay check"....but there always seems to be something that we need real money for....like land taxes....etc....but let's all keep working toward our goals!!!!

-- Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), May 25, 2000.

Sorry I got so sidetracked on education. I don't know why I thought so many of you had written about problems with friends/family not accepting homeschooling. Wasn't even mentioned by Suzy. I guess I just needed to vent as well. Again I want to emphasize there are a lot of good kids in public schools. I spent more time discussing the ones with problems than the ones that work hard and try. Please excuse me if I offended. Neal Mays

-- Neal Mays (mays@raptor.afsc.k12.ar.us), May 25, 2000.

About 17 years ago, when I was with my first husband, we were really struggling, worrying about how we were going to make ends meet, trying to keep up a calm & cheerful front so no one would know how poor we were, how worried. When we would meet our friends, we would come away very dissatisfied with them, critical of them -- how silly they were, or unevolved, or stupid, or crass. Later, when our money situation eased up and we had a decent place to live, well, suddenly we accepted our friends despite their faults, we appreciated what was good in them while ignoring their shortcomings. And I was struck with the truth that when you are dissatisfied with yourself, you become dissatisfied with others. You find fault in them, you have no patience for their ordinary human failings and personality quirks. So now whenever I get criticism seemingly from out of nowhere, when someone else lays a trip on me, eg. your mama & your garden, I think, what is this really about? This is about their unhappiness with their own selves. And when I find myself getting cranky about others or their activities, I double check to make sure that is not what's going on in me. You can do anything you set your mind to. And life is too short to cut it to fit someone else's plate.

-- snoozy (allen@oz.net), May 25, 2000.

One more thing. I believe everybody is born with two buckets: one bucket full of bennies & strengths & blessings, the other full of pain & sorrow & hard stuff. And that these buckets are equal, because there is always balance, it is the way of Nature: balance. And if you think you have a great deep bucket of sorrow & pain, well, your bene bucket must necessarily be just as deep. Sometimes people spend so much time looking into their sorrow & pain bucket, that they forget what is in their bene bucket. It is a really good exercise to sit down and make a list of all the bennies in your life. Every little thing, for is not life made up of an endless jumble of small things? Whom you love. Who loves you. Your friends and family. Things that you enjoy doing or have skill at. What you've accomplished, where you're hoping to go. Even things which don't seem all that awesome-- until you consider the lack of them...eg reading. Reading is one of my favorite things to do, and I have both the mental ability and the eyesight to do so...that is a great blessing, and my life would be greatly diminished without reading. You will be surprised at how full your bene bucket is if you only start looking. When you make your list of sorrow and pain, you will notice that there are fewer things in it, but they are more momentous -- they make more noise, so to speak. But every so often take a look at your list of benes. It's a great reminder of balance in all things.

-- snoozy (allen@oz.net), May 25, 2000.

Suzy, I guess everybody has days like that, though as I get older and draw closer to the Lord, I don't have them as often, or as bad. I am so glad that I don't have to worry about things, because One I can trust, who is wiser than I am, is in control -- even though things look bad, He is working out a plan that is too big for us to see all of it. It will all come right some day -- what a blessed hope that is!

And to Neal, your comments on the public schools echo everything I've seen or heard. I haven't been in the public schools for years, but spent five years as a teacher's aide at the little school at our church, and when children transferred in, would hear about where they had been. The sad thing, which never ceases to amaze me, is that people will compliment our children (not necessarily mine personally - - the children at our school) and say how polite and well-behaved they are -- often when they go on field trips, they get special priviledges that others don't get because ours are so well-behaved. BUT the same people who compliment them don't want for their own children the discipline that brings about that good behavior. Many people have come and gone from our school -- and almost always regretted it later, as we hear about their children ending up in jail, or unwed mothers, etc. (I hasten to add here that the discipline at our school doesn't include spanking, though parents are encouraged to spank at home when needed -- it is just a firm, consistent expectation of good behavior, with appropriate remedies for bad behavior.) It isn't that children today are incapable of behaving well, it is that they aren't being taught how to behave AT HOME. The reason teachers in the public schools can't exercise proper discipline in their classrooms is because the parents will cause problems if their children are disciplined. At a private school, if the parents wouldn't cooperate, we had the option (only rarely exercised) of telling the parents to take their little monsters someplace else if they weren't serious about bringing them up right. It is horrifying how many parents really AREN'T interested in bringing up their children right. So we can't blame the problems on the schools (though they may be partially responsible for teaching today's parents their faulty child-rearing practices), nor can we blame guns for tragedies like Columbine. Well, I've have my little rant -- but it just makes me sick to see people destroying their children by not training them up in the way they should go. Just think how God must feel about it -- He created those little children, and gave them to those parents to raise -- and what are we doing with the responsibility He has given us??

So, now I will take a break, and read a book my sister brought with her, while she and her little one are napping -- what a busy baby!

-- Kathleen Sanderson (stonycft@worldpath.net), May 25, 2000.

I am reminded of one of my fav John Denver songs, some days are dimionds some days are stones.

-- kathy h (saddlebronc@msn.com), May 25, 2000.

Neal,

I can really relate to your comments and experiences teaching. I have been in the field of education for 15 yrs now and its only getting worse each and every day. Its so political. I think public schools are in dire need of reform and until that happens the quality of education will continue to fall. I too cannot wait until summer vacation when i can work full time at home and be at peace. Its a very healing experience and then i am refreshed to begin a new year. I love working on the farm. I think this entire post has been a blessing to me to read and appreciate everyone's comments. thanks everyone, it helps to know I am not alone in feeling exhausted or overwhelemed.

-- Bernice (geminigoats@yahoo.com), May 25, 2000.

Bernice, I sympathise with you. I went to an IEP on Tuesday, but I was on the other side of the table, as a parent. My daughter has been in the school system for 15 years and it keeps getting worse. The teacher and I were the only ones there, who knew what schooling was best for my daughter and have had to fight for the most obvious things. There is so much politics in schooling now, even in Special Ed. Our Special Ed kids have been shifted around so much the last few years because of all the beauracracy, I am getting tired of fighting it. Don't know if it helps, but we parents really appreciate all you good teachers do for our kids. It's a tough job and requires alot of love and devotion. Thanks to all you teachers!

-- Anne (mistletoe@earthlink.net), May 25, 2000.

We get frustrated also. When this happens I have a favorite line--"I guess that we should sell out and buy a condo in NYC" Than all of a sudden we all break out laughing and crying and reality takes over. Pace yourself--Life is a long race and there won't be any winners, just participants. Best Wishes !

-- Joel Rosen (Joel681@webtv.net), May 26, 2000.

Ran across your post this morning Suzi. The responses are magnificent. All of us have "Days", or weeks or... whatever. Remember, it's the human condition to look at the glass as half empty. "Dirt therapy" works for me most of the time. Sometimes I have to really sit down and force myself to look at things from a different angle. I make a list of the things I have. loving wife, Healthy good children, beautiful home (still in town at this point) etc. That usually helps me feel better when I see all the really good things. More often than not I just have to go to work at the ER and I see someone who has to deal with a child with a terminal illness, or a young mom half my age dying. Then I get major guilt for complaining in the first place. I just reread this - I'm really not trying to lay a major guilt trip on you here. Sorry if it came off like that. Sometimes when a lot of "little" things get us down we get the blues. Go to your Bible and read Phillipians 4:13 (my favorite). Then pray. The more often the better. I find that reading the Proverbs every morning helps me get focused. It's no coincidence there are 31 of them. One for each day of the month. Be of good cheer. Reading this forum it's obvious that you have many people who care for you. I need to go pick strwberrys now.

-- john mengel (jsmengel@freewwweb.c0m), May 26, 2000.

Neal--Have you also noticed an increase in cheating? I'm sure it goes on everywhere, but my 15 year-old sophomore daughter was telling me last month how prevalent it is in her school. We are in a small rural area with a small school system, and I feel the education is as good as can be gotten almost anywhere. She was describing all the cheating that went on during a test (memorizing some Shakespeare), and was very indignant. It seems that the smartest, most well-off kids are the ones doing the most cheating. They were very creative, and obviously put lots of work into the effort. It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. These are the ones who will end up with scholarships and in good colleges somewhere.

We tried homeschooling one year, and it didn't work for us. Maybe the kids were too old when we tried, but they went back to public school. I decided that it really isn't the school system(s) that are at fault, it's the parents and lack of involvement. I feel that a good education is possible almost anywhere if you just take advantage of what is good and make up for the bad.

I hope I have done my job well enough that my children will never be the ones cheating.

-- teresa (otgonz@bellsouth.net), May 26, 2000.

Suzy, I just now got up the nerve to post here and on BackwoodsHome. Some times people just don't understand how fast the world is really going. You are so right to slow it down the best you can. I, too, need the "Earth Fix" as I call it. I like to go into the woods and just walk and think. At least then you can escape for a little while! And there's just something about putting your hands into the earth to calm you down. So, no, you are not alone, there are many more out here just like you.

-- Grits in Fl (rebelfarm@yahoo.com), May 26, 2000.

Suzy, my suggestion will probably be different from anyone else. If you will fast for 24 hours, it will change things and you'll feel like a million the next day. For a 24 hour period, just drink lots of water and don't eat any food. If possible, just lay around and don't work real hard, preferably not at all. After 24 hours, don't pig out. Just eat a salad to break the fast. When I feel like I can't reach God in prayer or I'm just really down, this is the only thing that works for me. Eagle

-- eagle (eagle@alpha1.net), May 27, 2000.

Eagle, the ancient rabbis weren't certain whether fast or feast would bring the Messiah, and for that reason, Jewish holidays are designated throughout the year as usually one, or the other. The fasting holidays aren't somber, but rather seem to help with introspection. Our fasts are complete, in that there is no drinking either. But it does help me focus.

That said, if I fasted for 24 hours every time I got blue, I would be a rail! I still vote for the dirt therapy, followed by the Ben & Jerry's therapy. How are you today, Suzy?

-- Rachel (rldk@hotmail.com), May 28, 2000.

Suzy, We all have these thoughts of throwing up our hands and moving to an apertment complex with the cat, a swimming pool, saunna, and club house. It helps if you can just go outside and commune with the critters for awhile. It is a fact of life on the farm that you will lose your best and favorite animal to some freak accident or your garden will fail because of too much or not enough rain. All mothers seem to think they can tell their children things for their on good even when the kid is 48!! You have to just blow it off, know she really loves you and go on with it. Politics stink and you are always sucked into the vacuum no matter how hard you try to avoid them. You came to the right place for encouragement, so keep on doing what you think is right, you will always have someone telling you what they think you should do, ignore them, they are not you have not walked a mile in your shoes. Have a great day today, yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. karen

-- Karen Mauk (dairygoatmama@hotmail.com), May 28, 2000.

Don't feel too bad about your mom telling you what to do. I have a neighbor in her mid 30s and her mom still sends her to her room!! Hope you're feeling better.

-- Kathleen Roberts (kathleenroberts@webtv.net), May 29, 2000.

Rachel, Can't promise that whatever happens to me will heppen to you, but if I fast, I'm really "up" for several days, don't get blue. Don't know about anyone else, just me. My big problem is that if I'm nor careful, right after a 24 hour water fast, I really pig out and am worse off than before. Eagle

-- eagle (eagle@alpha1.net), May 31, 2000.

Rachel, Can't promise that whatever happens to me will heppen to you, but if I fast, I'm really "up" for several days, don't get blue. Don't know about anyone else, just me. My big problem is that if I'm not careful, right after a 24 hour water fast, I really pig out and am worse off than before. Eagle

-- eagle (eagle@alpha1.net), May 31, 2000.

Hi to all, been reading and have come to the conclusion we are a large group. I am 71 and my Mother is 96 and she is still telling me how to live my life but I thank her very much for he input and then I do what I wish to do with my life. Like they say its too short to try and cut a pattern out to fit some one elses plate. I like my self and I know that I was created by the Good Lord above and He didn't make no Junk. I am not like anyone else I am me and each day I ask Him to lead, guide, and direct me in the way He wants me to go and , yes I have days that I think the Lord has me mixed up with some one else or He wouldn't direct me in that way but by the time the day is done I know He has been with me all the way. Just trust in Him and He will not lead you astray. May God Bless!

-- Evalyn Frye (rayl@ekns.net), June 27, 2000.