Yourdon did something right! He stated a forum that allowed me to meet my future husband! (He was genius codeslinger when I first read his posts, but, I told him I liked him even then!)

Yeah, yeah, I know some of you are going to laugh, scoff, and one of you is going to puke, but I know there are others here who are going to be happy for me.

This is so cool! Last night, Mr Polly asked me to marry him, and I said yes.(We're planning on December 25th.) I know this is pretty bizarre because I've never actually met him, but it doesn't matter. The love I feel for him wouldn't be anymore real, -- stronger or weaker -- than if he were sitting here next to me. The only thing that separates us is distance, and that's a minor thing to overcome.

He loves me! That's what's important, right? We've spent months e-mailing, posting, and calling each other. We spent seven hours on the phone last night alone! This man really loves me, you guys. Honest he does. He's even promised to keep his hands off me until we're married to honor me. Isn't he precious? That alone demonstrates the capacity for love this man has. He even offered to take my last name if it's important to me! How cool is that? Ha, ha! You know what I told him? I told him we should change our last name to "Polly" when we get married. We should legally become Louis and Laura Polly!! Isn't that great? (Laughter) Of course, I'm being silly because it's not important to me. I'll be proud to be Laura (fill-in-the-blank).

I'm not going to take up a lot of your time telling you about our relationship because I remember how tired we got listening to Bardou talk about her boyfriend's thighs last year.

Now, I'm wondering; do any of you know anyone who's met, fallen in love virtually, and gotten married? How are they doing? Please don't post me a link, because I don't know what those people's motives are for saying what they say (payment per hits, maybe?). I do know some of you won't lie to me, and I'm much more interested in your opinions.

At any rate, I gotta go. I'm still trying to trace Netghost (Hi, Netghost! You are one SMART apparition! *wink.)

~*~

P.S., Trolls,

Don't even bother asking Mr Polly to confirm this. He quit coming here because he can't stand to see you tear me down. I suspect you're going to call me a liar again, and that's Ok, because as Mr Polly said to me back at DeBunker's, "living well is the best revenge", and I'm walking away with ALL the good things in the end.

-- (Ladylogic@...), April 03, 2000

Answers

Laura:

If this is really you, congratulations!

One thing to consider, I am concerned that you would enter a post looking for validation of an internet romance. Why would you do this? You have either met your mate, or you have not-if you received 500 answers, all negative, would you change your mind?

Food for thought. Be sure.

Good luck.

-- FutureShock (gray@matter.think), April 03, 2000.

As a matter of fact I do know of a recent "sight-unseen" Internet relationship. The young guy flew all the way from England last month to Charleston, SC to meet his new girlfriend, who he thought was 30-something. Turns out she was 65-something, but that was nothing compared to the surprise when he discovered the woman's roommate's dismembered body in the freezer.

-- (@ .), April 03, 2000.

Congratulations, Laura. I wish you both well! On that note, please allow me to recommend an excellent book that you both should read before marriage, and again periodically afterward. It's called "Stop - You are Driving Me Crazy". I'm serious, this isn't a joke. It's an excellent book and just might help you continue your happiness beyond the "honeymoon phase".

-- Dr. Shrink (drshrink@shrink.asc), April 03, 2000.

-- Patsy Cline (crazy@crazy.crazy), April 03, 2000.

Go girl!

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), April 03, 2000.

Thanks, Future Shock,

I'm not looking for validation because I'm going to marry him regardless of what anybody else thinks. WE are the one's going to be living together, so of course, no one else's opinions matter to us. Honest! We are not so wrapped up in cybertime and cyberpeople that we don't have real lives, and real thoughts grounded in reality. LOL! I just wanted to announce to the "world" that we're getting married, and I wondered if anyone knows of other people that made it. Thank you for your very kind sentiments, though.

Dr. Shrink,

"Stop - You are Driving Me Crazy".

That's probably a good idea. When we're laying in bed, and tired of reading e-biz magazines, I'm sure we SHOULD be learning how to live together. We've both lived alone a long time, and getting used to someone else in our space probably will take some time to get used to. Thanks for the tip.

I gotta go. I want to go call him just to tell him I love him.

~*~

-- (Ladylogic@...), April 03, 2000.

Laura, remember the old adage, "Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas."

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), April 03, 2000.

Hey Laura, I heard you murdered your dead husband. It sure would'nt surprise me a damn bit after witnessing first hand your online antics. Or did he just committe suicide to get the hell away from you. Either way he's better off for sure.I've witnessed all kinds on the internet, from the mundane to the bizarre, but I must say that by far you are the most persistent, sick, twisted, most in need of professional help, twisted soul I have ever witnessed.

-- Wine-O (123@4.com), April 03, 2000.

Hi Laura, You'll never trace me :-)

I met my girl friend on line 7 months ago... started out as pen pals.. decided to meet last November ( she lives 541.33 miles from me... we're getting lots of frequent flyer miles :-) and I'm planning to move up to Seattle this summer to see if we really want to get married. We talk more, and about more things than most married couples that we know and have a very strong relationship just because of the distance between us, altho it is hard at times.

Have you every tried MSN instant messenger service?.. it's cool...I wish you both good luck.

-- Netghost (ng@no.yr), April 03, 2000.

zippy de do da 10%fruit juice created opprutunity creative juices flowing image bushmaster filled very clear what do you hope to accomplish???

Hold on loosly don't let go realitive software design overturn turn over apple turnovers fritters critters lots of energy synergy sin thou shalt not covet ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?? move on ground rules information age matenence thumb on scale

Babies panic bank of america seperate accounts expensive lesson disastorous results haircut magical big ideas biotechnology too much debt point and click forever and ever amen!

find someone you like and make it work.

-- same as b4 just different now (gold@silver getyou.some), April 03, 2000.

same as b4 just different now:

Ten wingnuts with the hots outspeak all your sick noodling. My pretense is on the outside on muddy pins. Bibble-babble gets old. Do you read me?

Tell your programmer to redouble his (her?) efforts. You don't make two beans worth of sense, yet. Move beyond Markov chains and put some intelligence into the data. We learn words in contexts. We recall them the same way. So, your dictionary has to be a complex relational db.

-- Brian McLaughlin (brianm@ims.com), April 03, 2000.

Brian, SameAsBefore made more sense than you. He's speaking in sound-bites. Just wait, canada's getting into sound-bites too, you'll learn to understand soon enough.

Good luck LL and Mr. Polly. Over ten years on the internet, I've seen such mariage/relationships work, and others that didn't. Just got an email yesterdat from one of my first internet friends from a user-group who maried a woman friend in that same group over 8 years ago, and they're still going strong and happy.

If the wedding is in december, you've got plenty of time to get to know each other still. Happy for you both.

-- Chris (!@#$@pond.com), April 03, 2000.

Just wait, canada's getting into sound-bites too, you'll learn to understand soon enough.

Canada, eh? Chris, what do you mean? I know very well what a sound bite is and I can string them together as well as the next person if I try. It's not communication, any more than making a collage of pictures of movie stars is a movie.

But then I never did get off on those $100,000 "works of art" where the artist splashes paint on a canvas while hanging from the ceiling. I guess it's another one of them things where you just have to "GI". :-)

No offense to you. I have been noticing these word-salad type posts here - with increasing irritation. Maybe it means they are working!

-- Debbie (dbspence@usa.net), April 03, 2000.

What a deal.

Some day you'll have to meet.

I hope he's stocking up on powder... and a paper bag to put over his head.

-- Oh, yeah (sounds@gr.eat), April 03, 2000.

"I know this is pretty bizarre because I've never actually met him, but it doesn't matter."

-- I guess that... (pretty much s@ys. it all), April 03, 2000.

Oh yeah,

I thought you were supposed to put the bag over her head!

Ever mixed it up with a "double-bagger" (after too many beers)?

-- Bagman (bagman@paper.orplastic), April 03, 2000.

I have often wondered for what purpose the Jerry Springer Show exists. Thank you Lord for enlightening me.

-- Gia (laureltree7@hotmail.com), April 04, 2000.

Wow. It's late and I thought I'd check in one more time before I go to bed. (I'm even too tired to get out my flower.)

It seems my no-name trolls have been working overtime, as I knew they would.

Yawn

gilda,

Somehow, I don't think you wrote that last post? I swear to you Mr Polly isn't a dog. (However, if he were, he'd be the best of show.)

Netghost,

I'll get you yet! (And I hope everything works out as well for you, and your lady, as it is for me and Mr Polly.)

same as before,

I agree. I definately agree.

Chris,

Thanks for letting me know it CAN work for some people for a long time. I've never been a bettin' woman, but I'm willing to bet my life (for all eternity) that I've found the right man for me. If OTFR still has the forum up for as long as I live, I'll let you know how it's going!

I love you, Mr Polly. (Just in case he ever decides to sneak a peek.)

-- (Ladylogic@...), April 04, 2000.

LL, good luck both ways :-)

-- Netghost (ng@no.yr), April 04, 2000.

Yeah, riiiiiight Laura.......which one of your personalities is engaged? LMAO.......(Dior-powdered as well, hahahahahaha)....

How ludicrous! Get some professional help!

-- whome (whome@not.com), April 04, 2000.

Congratulations Laura. FWIW, I can testify that virtual love can be successful. I am not speaking personally but I do have a middle aged female friend in FL who "met" a guy on icq (real time chat) and they connected immediately. They icq'd and telephoned their brains out. A year ago,he came 800 miles to visit her. They decided to live together starting last summer. He moved to her place. She had no money so there was no potential for financial exploitation. After 4 months they were engaged. He had to talk her into it. They have been married since Dec 25, 1999 and, as far as I know, it goes well. She and I still email 5 times a week so I think I would know if there was a problem. He got a teaching job in her town and they are fixing up a small house. Oh yes, she is disabled, he is able bodied.

One thing--why don't you and Monsieur Polly visit each other? How can you be so sure without ever meeting?

Good luck.

-- Lars (lars@indy.net), April 04, 2000.

Laura, I just read your April Fool's thread.....I take it you were not "April foolin'" with your comments about loving me *wink*. They were very beautiful to me Laura. Very much so, dear one...whom I love very much.

I was touched. They were very special. Thank you. I love you too, Laura. Very, very much, my sweet....

What stood out to me the most was your words to trust you, as you trust me. You know what? That's kinda new for me; having faith and trust in people with my future -- and my heart. I have never had the trust with my love, heart, and the rest of my life and happiness as I HAVE placed in you, Laura. This is a first for me. And know that I am trusting you with so much that is sooooo important to me; most of the things that make life worth living.

I have not only trust in you Laura, but faith, also. This is SUCH an important point, Laura. Lots of faith in you and our love to conquer all, my dear, sweet wonderful Laura. Especially since I regard marriage as a once in my life event...no screw ups allowed. If I pick wrong, I'm stuck; no trying again for me. I would just endure it and try to be the best man I could be and love my wife dearly...even if I were miserable and unfulfilled...but I don't fear this with you. I think you will please me and make me very, very happy. So my dear, know that I am trusting you...and the feelings of love I know we both feel...and God above for this to work out WONDERFULLY...my wife to be. I love you. And trust you. And have faith and confidence in you to make me a very, very happy man, Laura...very happy my dear...as I shall endeavor to make you with all my heart, soul, mind, strength and ability my love. How can I feel this way? I don't know. I just know that I do. Isn't God wonderful for fashioning you...and bringing you into my life, and giving you to me? :))

I want to say more, but shall not at the moment. I don't want to dilute what I've said above. For you don't know how important it is to me, my sweet. 37 years. 37 years of doing without what I want most out of life. 37 years of hoping...aching sometimes when I think about how much I want the wonderful joys and pleasures and happiness that I hope to enjoy with the woman I take for my wife, Laura. Refusing to settle. Knowing how my heart would ache with emptiness and longing for what I really wanted if I ever settled for a woman who either wasn't right or was incapable of having the kind of relationship I've yearned for...ached for....whenever I've allowed myself to dwell on what I've always wanted, actually...frowning at how improbable it seemed that I would ever meet the woman I would feel so right about....so comfortable about taking for my wife...the woman I would have no doubts in...the woman I would have the utmost confidence and faith in to be THE, **MY** wonderful woman and wife and friend and partner and companion and lover and just...what words can describe her?...this is the only time I can't come up with words to describe what this special woman means to me, Laura....I'm stumped for words to describe what she...you...means to me my dear...the woman I shall take for my wife, Laura...and love and feel so deeply for...and hope....to be so happy with. So many frowns at those I've met that just didn't have the "right stuff". So many disappointments....so many I've met that I just KNEW came up short...and would not LET anything develop...and turn down even a date with...rather than ache at knowing what I was missing by spending even an evening with one who reminded me of what she didn't have...the things YOU have, my dear sweet wonderful Laura...my love, my heart, my faith and confidence...my knowing...that you ARE the right one for me, my sweet...that I just refused to settle for any of them...for 37 long years...alive...but with a blandness in my mouth...for the flavor that I yearned to savor...you, sweetness!! ....holding fast...to that which I knew I could never give up hope in finding one day....even if I were to spend my whole life without....rather that let the hope for such joy, such happiness, such love and fulfillment I knew I could have, if I could only find her and make her mine...and me hers...I just could not let this hope....die....by giving up...or settling for what wouldn't even amount to a pale imitation.

Years and experiences going by...logic entering in and facing the improbability of ever meeting the one that was right for me....compatible in the ways that matter to me. And then, I met you. And knew early on that you were "a contender"...and then finding....sooner than I ever could have imagined....that you, my dear, sweet wonderful Laura....were the woman I've been looking for for all these many years. The woman I could have the kind of relationship and life with that I've wanted, yearned for from deep within my heart....from very deep within my soul...the one....bound deeply in love....I could walk thru life with...as mine...and me hers...and know...that our love...not only that with I felt for her...but that with she felt for me....the love we have for each other...could indeed conquer all..whatever may come....and make us happy and fulfilled...thru good times and bad...comfortable...safe....knowing no doubts...having no reservations...that we had met, and married, the most perfectly fashioned partner that God above could provide us each with...each other.

You, my dear sweet wonderful Laura, are that woman for me. Thank you very much for being who what and how you are, my wonderful wife to be.

All my love, forever more, Laura,

Louis aka MrPolly@yahoo.com

-- Mr Polly (MrPolly@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

Lady Logic wrote: "...because I've never actually met him, but it doesn't matter."

(Eyebrows raised) Is this one of those female thingies that I'm never going to understand? This situation reminds me of the mail order brides of the old days ... lonely guy in SF would order a bride from back East. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. I can't imagine myself doing anything like that, either ordering a bride or falling in love with someone I've never taken on a date outside of cyberspace.

This is too weird for me today. Let me know if it works out.

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

Come to think of it, I'd probably fall over if my sister romped in and declared that she was engaged to someone named "Mr. Polly" from the Internet.

Don't you have an elder brother, Lady Logic?

-- (kb8um8@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

People!? This is an April fool's joke for pete's sake!

-- sheesh! (=@=.=), April 04, 2000.

OH MY GOD! Please tell me that Louis is NOT "St. Louis" Louis???? THE S+M GUY????? Is Mr Polly the "Loving Dominant" from the old days on TB2K?

Can it be? Is it TOO perfect??

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

Will you wear white, or ivory?

-- flora (***@__._), April 04, 2000.

This just in.

Laura (AKA LadyLogic) and Louis (AKA Mr. Polly) have released some details on their upcoming nuptials:

(1). The entire ceremony will be held at the AA Center in Secaucus, NJ on a yet to be decided date. Open bar.

(2). The well-known rent-a-reverend, Brother Bondage has been retained for the services.

(3). Laura has chosen Mimi as her bridesmaid and Louis has selected Mini-Me as his best man.

(4). The couple plans an exotic 3-day honeymoon on Zug Island, located in the tropical Detroit River.

Sources close to the families have confirmed that both have agreed to a non-breeding proviso in the marriage contract.

-- On (with@the.show), April 04, 2000.

Well, Laura, no wonder you suddenly disappeared from the brief conversation you and I were having on another thread! Ok, ok, ok, I guess a sudden engagement is a good excuse...(Mona Lisa Smile)

Congratulations, Laura!

-- eve (eve_rebekah@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

kb8um8, why don't you get a real name? :-)

(Eyebrows raised) Is this one of those female thingies that I'm never going to understand? This situation reminds me of the mail order brides of the old days ... lonely guy in SF would order a bride from back East. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't. I can't imagine myself doing anything like that, either ordering a bride or falling in love with someone I've never taken on a date outside of cyberspace.

Try spending 100's, if not 1000's of hours talking on-line with a good lady..... you might develop an interest, especially if you start as just pen-pals. I have to agree that setting a Date is a bit premature if you haven't even met yet.... but different strokes and all that :-)

-- Netghost (ng@no.yr), April 04, 2000.

OH MY GOD! Please tell me that Louis is NOT "St. Louis" Louis???? THE S+M GUY????? Is Mr Polly the "Loving Dominant" from the old days on TB2K?

Can it be? Is it TOO perfect??

-- Uncle Deedah (unkeed@yahoo.com), April 04, 2000.

Unk,

YES!! Mr. Polly really IS "Loving Dominant" from the old TB2000 forum. When LL first posted on the Debonker's forum, Mr. Polly offered her a "firm, yet loving hand", "discipline", and "a spanking"! LOL---TOO funny! Can anyone find St. Louis' threads from the TB2000 archives? They're a scream.

-- It's Twoo (it really@is.him), April 04, 2000.

Gag, cough, Gag, you get the picture. I could care a rats ass less about your personal. Get this show boat off the avenue.

-- I'm gonna (frow@up.com), April 04, 2000.

This is starting to sound like a soap opera.

-- Soapy (soapy@ivory.snow), April 05, 2000.

One bagger, two bagger, and cayote.

We all know what a one bagger is. A two bagger is extra protection, in case the first bag breaks. Cayote is when she is laying on your arm, and you chew your own arm off, to get out of bed before she wakes up.

Let's start a pool. I'll take six weeks.

Enjoy the SPAM, Mr. polly.

-- 007 (spy@t.large), April 05, 2000.

007,

I'm gonna spam Mr Polly with love.

.............................I'm gonna tell him over, and over, again how much I love him.................................

I love you Mr Polly,...and I can't wait to tell you r/t.

Your adoring wife-to-be,

~*~

-- Laura (Ladylogic@...), April 06, 2000.