I know you've been in some kind of situation where you've felt that you've been neglected. I've been through it more than enough. What have your experiences with feeling neglected been like?

-- suzen (suzen@kamala.nu), February 06, 2000

Answers

I always feel as if people aren't putting in the same amount of effort into relationships of any sort, that I do. I always manage to convince myself that I'm the half that loves more. There's a song by Jill Sobule dealing with that issue too... anyway. Because of this, I start to resent people and end up thinking 'well if THEY don't care, why should I? If THEY aren't going to bother, why should I?' I always manage to sink lower and lower when I get like that because I still want that connection with the other person, even if I'm the only one to provide it.

-- Brooke (rwoolley@ihug.co.nz), February 06, 2000.

i feel forgotten constantly. all of the time. like everyone is better than i am and i deserve no attention. i deserve to be forgotten. feh.

-- Amber (gypsy@cakedemons.com), February 07, 2000.

So I kind of gave him this ultimatum. I said "Call me if you think I'm worth it."

Friday night was so incredible. Never did I expect old photographs and playing with his hair to be so memorable. But then came the fight...and then my ultimatum.

He still hasn't called.

I'm hoping he's just temporily forgotten, because if it's a 'permanent forgotten', then I've lost everything.

-- Tiffany (mapleberry@hotmail.com), February 07, 2000.

I'm so terrible at these things subabe, I tend to ramble and get lengthy, but bare with me on this one... I read through your entry and then got to the question at which point I burst into tears after reading. Here comes the emotional downpour...

Maybe it's because I've been going through this hopeless period of longing for someone to attach myself to and love, or maybe it's because I've finally come to face the fact that I have to let go of him, but either way I do believe he's forgotten me completely.

Memories of him and the time we spent together have been plaguing me for the past 2 weeks now. It's gotten to the point where each time I visualize his face or hear his name I want to curl up in a tiny ball and cry till there's not a tear left to shead for him. I thought I'd finished shedding tears for him 2 years ago when the final breakup and heartbreak ended, but I guess I was wrong. I'm crying for him again, longing for his touch and love.

The soft carass of his hand against mine as we tramped through the woods, the only sound around us was the leaves crinkling beneath our feet mixed with the sound of our breath being exhaled.

The laughter we both shared as we would wrestle through out my house grabbing, pushing, and tickling each other in playful manners until we would fall apon my bed and end up kissing for hours or until my parents came home.

The infinite hours of time we'd spend with Mark playing round after round of games on Super Nintendo, sled ridding, biking, hiking, playing tag, getting into trouble, and the infamous hide and seek games we'd play in our basements...

He, Mark, & I were the three muskateers with a an almost love triangle going on at times. But he was the one that was there when the drunken rages blasted through my house and I had no where else to go but to the comfort of his arms. He was the one who listened to my problems, the one who comforted me, the one who teased me when I did something silly, the one who wasn't afraid to express himself to me... He was the one who taught me to LOVE.

Slowly but surely after he moved we drifted apart, the breakup came and went but we were still best friends as always. The visits together became more and more less frequent. He began to hurt me in ways he didn't realize he was. Through it all we always came out on top though, we had to. We were Brian & Heather, the two names you rarely heard used individually. It was always something between the two of us being talked about, rarely just one of us. Even if we weren't together anymore, we might as well have been... the I love you's were still exchanged and the sexual aspects of our relationship were ever present should we be in a room alone together. We had something special.

Mid March of 99, sometime around his 17th birthday was the last time I saw him. He was with Noah & Georganne was over that night. It was a bad mixture of people with emotions flaring and tension high in the air. He and I kissed then hugged before he left. For some odd reason I felt something ripping at my heart when his car began to pull away... like I'd never see him again.

I'm afraid I was correct in that feeling. I've only talked to him once since then & briefly at that. We've drifted so far away from each other, we didn't even spend Christmas Eve together this year. That was a tradition for the two of us...

He's moving to Florida in August after he graduates.

I haven't heard a word from him and it's almost February 10th. Should that day come and go without a phone call from him, I'll know for sure if he's forgotten me. That'll be the deciding factor in it all. I know I could call him and I probably will come the 11th, but things will be different between us. Every ounce of me hopes and prays that the phone will ring around 5:37 on Feb. 10th and I'll be greeted with the sound of his deep "Hey, what's up?". I'm not holding my breath, though.

-- heather (heat@plastique.org), February 07, 2000.

*longsofthugs.heather* i love you.

-- rach (rach@never-ever.net), February 08, 2000.