Subject:	More mainframe stuff for -bks-, was: Take A Number
Date:	1999/09/29
Author:	cory hamasaki <kiyoinc@ibm.XOUT.net>
	Posting History

-bksie-  Lookie, they're starting up again.  93 days to go and the fake-sade is crumbling.  Hey, Banks "get it", Telco's are done.  No problems with Y2K, it was all solved years ago.  It's simpoole, really.   Note to real programmers, I'm not slamming the S/390 gear-heads out there.  Heck, I'm one.   I am pointing out that with 2,247 hours left, we haven't seen a flood of "We're really ready announcements."  This summer, there was a sprinkling of "We hope to be really ready announcements."   Instead, we're seeing frantic cries for help, pathetic clawings for vines as the quicksand sucks the shop under.  Halp-me, Halp-me. Bundolo.   Come-come, pollies.  You have big brains.  Here is a shop that is going "encapsulation" (I forgot about that solution.)   On Wed, 29 Sep 1999 01:32:24, kopplin@tconl.com (Lance Kopplin) wrote:   > Background:  Somebody had this idea that the way to handle Y2K for this > application was to rewrite it to UNIX.  Nothing original there.  It > ain't happening.  Nothing original there.  So it'll stay on the > mainframe.  They tried a test, couldn't get INTO the first transaction. > > The source code is owned by Telecordia (guess all the good names were > taken).  And they ain't sharing.  And they ain't doing Y2K on it. > > So we have built an LPAR and will run the LPAR as 1996 next year. > > So, are we first to get to the point of a back-yeared LPAR?  Or > hundredth?  Or where?  We want credit! > > I'm thinking we're early, most managers have much more powerful denial > systems than this. > > In our meeting today, somebody asked how we would handle the time > changes on the 1996 LPAR.  "If you're four years behind, what possible > difference can four years and an hour make?" > > Lance > digusted but not surprised   Dee-gus-ted?  I'm frightened.  I'm SCREAMing in TERROR.   Do you @#$@#$'ing Polly-wollies get it now?  The mainframer, superprogrammer discussion groups are now saying what I've been nattering about for years; well, since Day 500.   We're in a world of hurt and the denialist butt-heads put us there.   I *don't* have to write alarmist prose anymore, I can just cross-post mainframe technical discussions to c.s.y2k.  Please, Polly-Wollies, don't argue with me.  Go over to the mainframe mailing lists and give them a piece of your big polly brain.  Show them how smart you are.   For those still on the fence, it's looking bad.  Please take some precautions.  There have been lots of discussions here and on the web.   cory hamasaki http://www.kiyoinc.com/current.html   Fair warning. There are 93 days now.  Get ready. 

-- a (a@a.a), September 29, 1999

Answers

It gets worse...

Subject:	More -bks- Was: Take A Number
Date:	1999/09/29
Author:	cory hamasaki <kiyoinc@ibm.XOUT.net>
	Posting History

Here's more Y2K technical content from the mainframer superprogrammers for -bks-. On Wed, 29 Sep 1999 08:14:36, D amclaugh@AOL.COM (Dan McLaughlin) wrote: > We turned our old CPU into a Y2K test environment....for inhouse testing. > Then > it was decided to test new vendor code in the Y2K environment...then it was > decided to add a Y2K LAN to the mix...then the vendor wants to be able to get > in > from his home office....and the darn thing was supposed to die quietly at the > end > of July! > Beware the regressed LPAR..... Beware? Is this more "Alarmist" hype from cory the clueless? Is cory writing his scary stuff again? No wait, that's someone named Dan from the IBM mainframe list. What's he talking about? A test project spinning out of control? Well now, I guess the #@$@#@@ Polly-Wollies were wrong. cory hamasaki http://www.kiyoinc.com/current.html 93 days. Fair Warning. 

-- a (a@a.a), September 29, 1999.

Lets translate this to jive and see how it reads:

Your Translation: -bksie- Lookie, dey're startin' down again. 'S coo', bro! 93 days t' go and de fake-sade be crumblin'. Hey, Banks "git it", Telco's be done. What it is, Mama! No problems wid Y2K, it wuz all solved years ago. It's simpoole, really. Slap mah fro!

Note t' real honky codemers, Ah'm not slammin' de S/390 gear-haids out dere. What it is, Mama! Heck, Ah'm one. What it is, Mama!

Ah be pointin' out dat wid 2,247 hours left, we gots'n't seen some flood uh "We're really ready announcements." Dis summa', dere wuz some sprinklin' uh "We hope t' be really ready announcements."

Instead, we're seein' frantic cries fo' help, alleyetic clawings fo' vines as de quicksand sucks de shop unda'. Halp-me, Halp-me. What it is, Mama! Bundolo.

Mosey on waaay down-mosey on waaay down, pollies. You's gots' big brains. Here be some shop dat be goin' "encapsulashun" (Ah forgots 'bout dat solushun.)

Dee-gus-ted? Ah'm frightened. Ah'm SCREAMin' in TERRO'.

Do you's @#$@#$'ing Polly-wollies git it now? De mainframa', supuh'honky codema' discussion groups be now sayin' whut Ah've been natterin' 'bout fo' years; sheeit, since Day 500.

We're in some world uh hurt and de denialist butt-haids put us dere. What it is, Mama!

Ah *duzn't* gots'ta scribble alarmist prose anymore, Ah kin plum cross-post mainframe technical discussions t' c.s.y2k. Please, Polly- Wollies, duzn't argue wid me. What it is, Mama! Go ova' t' de mainframe mailin' lists and give dem some piece uh ya' big polly brain. 'S coo', bro! Show dem how smart you's be. What it is, Mama!

Fo' dose still on de fence, it's lookin' baaad. Please snatch some precaushuns. Dere gots' been lots uh discussions here and on de web. Sheeeiit.

cory hamasaki http://www.kiyoinc.com/current.html

Fair warnin'. Dere be 93 days now. Git ready. Slap mah fro!

-- Anon619 (loafin@work.now), September 29, 1999.

Sounds like Cory is losing it. Must be under the Weather Report.

-- K. Stevens (kstevens@ It's ALL going away in January.com), September 29, 1999.

Anon -

[Val-speak ON]

Using, like, the jive utility is soooo over. That whole racist thing is, like, prehistoric, y'know? Get a clue, 'K? Bye now.

[Val-speak OFF]

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), September 29, 1999.

Mac, yep. Remember seeing it at least a year ago. It was just as offensive then as it is now. Gotta wonder a lot about someone who thinks this is funny...

-- RUOK (RUOK@yesiam.com), September 29, 1999.

"There is no such thing as a one-shot program."

Gopal Kapur.

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), September 29, 1999.

Obviously, these mainframe programmers need to better acquaint themselves with the Hoffy Principle: "If it is working just fine in 1999, it will work just fine in 2000."

And the Cherri Principle: "If it fails, it will be fixed shortly."

And the Deano Principle: "Duhhh, yuh keep your money in the bank."

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.cum), September 29, 1999.

KOS, you forgot one:

Maria, "If it fails, kick it really, really hard."

-- RUOK (RUOK@yesiam.com), September 30, 1999.