The LAPD, the FBI, & the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is crying, "Okay, okay! I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 13, 1999

Answers

****Wiping tears of laughter from eyes*****

Andy you are treading REAL CLOSE to the line!

ROTFLTIPMP Except i've SEEN it before, so I should be able to hold on. Must be the morning!

Chuck

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), September 13, 1999.

Then the Doomers go into the forest, and one hour later come out with the rabbit, the deer, the mouse, the owl, the trees, ferns, boulders, mushrooms, and traps, and expose the LAPD, FBI, CIA, & Prez for the Set-Up and Cover-Up ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 13, 1999.

The DEA goes into the forest, plants drugs on everybody, busts em, confiscates the forest and sells it at auction.

-- Porky (Porky@in.cellblockD), September 13, 1999.

Zoobie goes into the forest to see if s/he can hear the rabbit clapping ... ;^)

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 13, 1999.

KOS goes into the forest and comes out with the muddiest rabbit you ever saw!

-- Dave (aaa@aaa.com), September 13, 1999.

Milne goes into the forest and comes out with rabbit stew on toast.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 13, 1999.

Ed Yourdon goes into the forest and 5 minutes later comes out with the rabbit, a hare-raising true tail, a new essay, and a chart of Rabbit Matrix Metrics.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), September 13, 1999.

Billy Jeff goes into the forest and comes out with a "skewered" rabbit.

gettin' a drink...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), September 13, 1999.

A Russian man was sent by his wife to buy sausage. He stood in line for 4 hours, and when his turn came, the sausage was gone. Enraged, he began screaming, "This is what our live have come to? This is how the rotten State treats us! Things were better under Communism!"

Suddenly two burly KGB men appear. one at each shoulder. "Comrade, please, we all have to suffer this way. There is no use making a scene. Just calm down, go home, and maybe there will be sausage tomorrow."

The man returned, dejected, to his wife. "What is the matter? Is there no sausage?" she asked.

"Worse than that", he replied, "they're even out of bullets".

-- Forrest Covington (theforrest@mindspring.com), September 13, 1999.

Algore goes into the forest and : 1. can't find his way out or 2. fell in love with a spruce.

-- Neil G.Lewis (pnglewis1@yahoo.com), September 13, 1999.

never going into forest again!

-- saw (Blair@Witch.shiver), September 13, 1999.

Flint goes into the forest and sees a rabbit, but can't decide whether or not it's a real rabbit (remember the movie, "Harvey"?).

-- BigDog (BigDog@duffer.com), September 13, 1999.

Gary North goes into the forest and all the animals run screaming for the hills.

-- (north@cool.dude), September 13, 1999.

Y2K Pro goes into the forest and out comes the rabbit.

-- Dave (aaa@aaa.com), September 13, 1999.

The EPA goes into your house, finds a cat, proclaims that the cat is a rare form of rabbit, and declares your house to be a forest.

-- Ron Schwarz (rs@clubvb.com.delete.this), September 13, 1999.

The rabbit that claps is not the true rabbit,that's why we're free to speak of the rabbit(prajnaparamita)

-- zoobie (zoobiezoobie@yahoo.com), September 13, 1999.

Janet Reno goes into the forest, the forest disappears.

-- How (did@that.happen), September 13, 1999.

Clinton went into the forest...and Monica, Jenifer, Paula....... .... and Ken Starr with a video cam.

-- Linda (lwmb@psln.com), September 13, 1999.

It should be obvious that the rabbit wanted to die and so it set the fire.

-- farmer (hillsidefarm@drbs.net), September 13, 1999.

This is sounding more and more like the story "Animal Farm".!

-- Living in (the@real.world), September 13, 1999.

Paul Davis went into the forest... and came out with the biggest, fattest wabbit you ever saw!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), September 13, 1999.

Difference between heaven and hell; In heaven all the engineers are German, the chefs are French, the police are British, the managers are Japanese, and the lovers are Italian. In hell; all the police are German, the engineers are French, the chefs are Brits, the lovers are Japanese and the managers Italian.

-- Ralph Kramden (and@awaywego.com), September 13, 1999.