Column: Stock up, Y2k bug a real danger

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COLUMN: Stock up, Y2K bug a real danger Click on our sponsors!

Updated 12:00 PM ET August 30, 1999

By Michael Mcguckin Daily Lobo U. New Mexico

(U-WIRE) ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. -- Last week I ran into the Y2K bug head on. I am now a believer; it's out there; it's real. What a mess Y2K is on the windshield of my life.

I immediately called the airline and canceled my New Year's Eve flight to Papeete. I am going to put my name on the waiting list for an electric generator. I am buying extra cans of beans, before the hoarders get to them.

Y2K never scared me before because I knew that the powers that be would want their money. I have credit cards, for goodness' sake, that don't expire until after 2000. My automobile plates are good into the year 2001. My auto loan runs well into the next millennium before I will finish paying it off. We have already been living in the next millennium for a long time. The electric company isn't going to let the lights fail because it would be too expensive to pay for all the trouble the outage would cause. I had confidence in American greed to keep things running smoothly.

What about the chips embedded in our electronic devices? Why do my toaster or my car care about what millennium it is? As far as I was concerned, Y2K was created by a bunch of fear mongering parasites who were out to scare a buck out me, to sell me generators and such. Computers crashing at midnight on December 31? So what else is new? Computers crash all the time; let them crash. I don't do Windows, I am a Mac Man and my machine already knows all about the millennium coming.

In fact, computers used to crash and cause trouble a lot more often in the bad old days, when data went into machines on punch cards printed with the slogan, "Do not fold, spindle or mutilate." I could never resist folding, spindling and mutilating once the electric company sent me a bill the size of New Jersey's. That sort of thing doesn't happen much anymore.

"Wackos and misfits and militia groups trying to stir up trouble, that's all the Y2K hysteria is," I thought. A friend of mine works in Washington, for the government. Her job is to inoculate government computers against the Y2K bug. "We have nothing to fear but the wackos and misfits and militia types who might use the Y2K as an excuse to run riot," she once told me. "The biggest problem isn't that airplanes are going to fall out of the air on 1 January 2000, but that the air traffic control system is badly in need of upgrading today -- and has needed upgrading for years."

"I don't fly as it is," she explained. "Y2K won't make air travel any more dangerous than it already is."

But then I ran into Y2K at my bank. My bank could not process my loan payment. "Our computers are going to be down for a while," I was told. "We are switching to a new system that will be Y2K compliant, and it is going to take us at least a week before everything is back to normal."

"You mean the bank is shutting down for a week because of the Y2K bug?" I asked.

"Not shutting down, sir, upgrading our computers."

"So you can't take my money today?" I queried.

"Yes, sir, we just can't credit your account."

I shuddered. It is still August, nowhere near the end of the millennium, and already the Y2K bug has ruined my bank. I am moving my cash to a nice safe mattress. It is a good thing I like canned beans, since things could get rough. It looks as if we might be in for a long millennium.

(C) 1999 Daily Lobo via U-WIRE

-- Homer Beanfang (Bats@inbellfry.com), August 31, 1999

Answers

I immediately called the airline and canceled my New Year's Eve flight to Papeete. I am going to put my name on the waiting list for an electric generator. I am buying extra cans of beans, before the hoarders get to them.

I am moving my cash to a nice safe mattress. It is a good thing I like canned beans, since things could get rough. It looks as if we might be in for a long millennium.

You are also about to receive an ugly phone call, or a visit, or both.

-- shut (yer@trap.son), August 31, 1999.


And the number one answer is....

I had confidence in American greed to keep things running smoothly.

:-P

American greed: don't leave home without it.

oh, and pass the beans please....

-- Deborah (infowars@yahoo.com), August 31, 1999.


Don't feed the trolls......

-- kevin (innxxs@yahoo.com), August 31, 1999.

Homer...Too funny. Prepare thyself for the certain flaming that will come your way. Not every GI on this forum is in control of their facilities as you will soon observe.

-- Yuk (yuk@yuk.yuk), August 31, 1999.

Heaven knows where the pollies are today. Out golfing, I suppose. Guess we better fill in for 'em.

Yo, Mike, but wouldn't you rather lose access to your money today, rather than 16 weeks from now?

And what makes you think this is going to happen at other banks, anyway? And, by the way, that is not your money to be taking out. Once you deposited it, it became the "people's" property, fool.

For the record, my money will remain in the bank. For the record, anyone who is suggesting that we take all our money out of the banks is deliberately attempting to bring about a run on the bank and can only be classified by any reasonable person as an enemy of the people. - Peter de Jager, March 1, 1999.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), August 31, 1999.



Agree with "shut". This young man is very likely to be contacted by someone in authority (Provost, Dean, whoever) and instructed to print a follow-on article, stating that the column was written entirely in jest amd that he didn't mean to alarm anyone. People are getting nervous.

Stay tuned.

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), August 31, 1999.


Link?

I visited U-Wire.com but the column must have been pulled already.

Mike

===================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), August 31, 1999.


What did he say? Sounds like "the Daily Loco" is more like it.

Keep your...

-- eyes_open (best@wishes.net), August 31, 1999.


http://news.excite.com/news/uw/990830/university-150

Mike,

It's still posted at the above address.

-- Homer Beanfang (Bats@inbellfry.com), August 31, 1999.


Hmmm. seems I had he same problem with my bank.. They said it was the whole week too, I got money out, but they did it as a convience since I am a regular customer. I asked if it had to do with y2k. the teller said "I do not think so, we had that done a while ago." But none of the computers would work, they couldn't access anyones account and nothing could be recorded till they were back up. I asked if this happened again next year and my husbands direct deposit was not accessable, I wondered how I would pay the mortgage. The teller said" I am sure they would take that into consideration."

-- Cassandra (american_storm@usa.net), August 31, 1999.


In the words of Joseph Kenedy " It's better to be out of the stock market two months early, than one day late"

-- dw (y2k@outhere.com), August 31, 1999.

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