I hope you won't find this too offensive, but I just have to ask this: Why on earth did you get a dog? I don't have a dog myself, but recently a bunch of people in my neighborhood, all at once, have become dog owners and I can hear these animals barking, barking, barking. From your description of Doc it sounds like he has all the bad qualities of a newborn baby (poops and pees uncontollably, constant need for attention, wrecks the sleep patterns of the owner) plus even MORE problems (He bites! He is mobile! He is destuctive!) Your life seems to be fairly complicated and stressful as it is, but adding this new Agent of Chaos seems to have brought it to a whole new level. I realize I may be just hearing the bad side of things, but what GOOD reasons are there to have a dog? How could they possibly counterbalance the other insanity-provoking behaviors? Could you please enlighten me?

-- Anonymous, August 25, 1999

Answers

Dogs that bark all the time are generally not happy dogs. There are dogs in my neighborhood that bark all the time, too. I never see anyone take them for a walk, or let them in the house, or play frisbee with them, or pay any attention at all to them. I'd probably bark, too, if I were them.

You're right; my life was already pretty hectic and stressful before I got the dog. I have a job, a boyfriend, a house, and ... um ... what else was it that I had?

More specifically, I have a job that is unfulfilling in the extreme, a boyfriend who can't stand to be in the same room with me and snarls at me any time I'm around him for more than twenty minutes, and a house that I can't afford that is always a disaster. But my dog likes me. He's always happy to see me, like I'm his long lost best friend. At least three times a day, he crawls into my lap with one of his toys, and bounces around trying to lick me on the nose. Nobody else is going out of their way to lick me on the nose, trust me.

Plus, there's the minor fact that if we hadn't taken him, he would probably have gone to the pound. I like dogs. I don't like them to go to the pound.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 1999

Let's see, Howard chews my undies, cramps my social life, and causes me embarassment when I meet someone new in the midst of picking up poop. I have to arrange for dogsitters when I'm going to work late. And scramble for help from friends when I need/want to go out of town (say fly somewhere for a weekend.)

On the other hand, I grew up around large dogs. They are the best confidants. He's always handy for blanket acceptance and hugs. Walking him and caring for him has given me an opportunity to meet the people who live in my building and throughout the neighborhood. I've made tons of friends with just having Howard as an excuse to approach me and a topic of conversation to have with people.

Because we live in an apartment, I have to walk him, so I get more exercise.

He gives me something outside of myself to focus on and care for-- required, no hedging--and it's really good for me. And it's a really good feeling, knowing that I belong to him as much as he belongs to me. An ego boost even, but different and more than that at the same time.

Maybe some people are pet people and some people aren't. But I didn't have any pets for seven years (school and then a few years after that), and then I got Howard. It's one of the smartest things I've ever done.

Howard is amazing companionship on long car trips too. A good listener, appreciates my singing along with the radio, and gives me a reason to stop every two hours, so that I stay more alert.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 1999

The answer is so very simple to any dog owner. Dogs love you unconditionally. They willingly give of themselves like no other creature you will ever come across. No strings, no compromises, no questions. It sounds simplified but it more than makes up for everything else.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 1999

I dunno; I've been reading Beth's entries and thinking, "I am never, ever going to get a dog if this is what I'm in for." And the arguments for unconditional love - as genuine and well-reasoned as they are - aren't swaying me.

Maybe I'm just too much of a cat person. My cat's always glad to see me when I come home, offers a lot of physical affection, amd amuses me to no end. Perhaps I lucked out when I went to the SPCA, and I got a cat whose personality fits mine.

To be fair, I like dogs. They just seem like a lot of work.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 1999

I'm not saying that dog ownership or pet ownership is for everyone, but as far as the effor involved:

Beth is raising a puppy. Puppies, like any kids, take lots of care and attention. They have to learn how to be dogs, to grow up.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 1999

Aside from the complete unconditional love, dogs are a great source of entertainment. Add a dog to your life and see if you don't laugh more often each day. My husband and I constantly joke that we ought to just disconnect our cable TV. The dogs are much more entertaining and keep us laughing with their crazy antics and expressions. PUPPIES are a LOT of work, but they grow up to be great dogs if you invest the time when they are young to train them properly. It's a lot easier to teach a puppy not to heel than to try to do it when your dog is 75 pounds. I am a cat person at heart, always having grown up around cats, and we still have two cats that are great. But a dog is a different creature entirely -- and they both have their merits. If you don't have the stamina for a puppy, there are always lots of great dogs available for adoption who are already housetrained and through their chewing stage. If you've never had a dog, I don't think you can fully appreciate how great they are.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 1999

I love my cats. You know I love my cats. But they are no replacement for a dog, just like a dog would be no replacement for a cat.

Example:

I'm getting dressed. I put on a dress, maybe even The Dress. I look in the mirror, I pirouette a little bit. I strike a pose and see how if I need different shoes, or maybe a hat.

Rudy: You are not wearing that, are you?

Benny: Jesus, did you see her thighs?

Rudy: Honey, you are not twenty five anymore. Wake up and smell the Geritol.

Sally: Has anyone seen my fuzzy mouse? I know I left it in here. Would you stupid bitches quit talking about the fat lady and help me find my mouse?

Compare that to the dog:

Doc: Oh, honey, look at you. I could just eat you up. Come over here and let me lick your neck. You are just so ... mmm, mmm. Look at you. You've got the hair thing working, and the dress, and the ... is this silk? It tastes like silk. And the shoes! Oh, baby, you are the most fabulous thing I've ever seen, you vixen, you.

Actually, he doesn't talk like that. He speaks Labrador Retriever, which is more like this:

Doc: 'Member that time when we went to the park? And, and, and somebody had peed on that tree? 'Member that? And then 'member how we came home, and you gave me a treat, and I ate it? And then you gave me another one? 'Member that? That was awesome.

Either way, it's a refreshing change from Rudy.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 1999

Keep in mind Beth and Jeremy got a dog that's a mix of two large sized working breeds. Working breeds are a hell of a lot more demanding than other breeds because they've been bred for certain traits including boundless energy and a need for vigorous activity. You won't have the same experiences raising a chihuahua, or a pooodle, or a schnauzer, and not just because they're smaller than Labradors. When choosing a dog you need to be sure you understand what their breed's temperament is like. The sweetest dog in the world might not be right for your lifestyle. That's the real trick to getting the doggie companion you want.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 1999

Okay, I love Bridget and Sheila. They're family. But I also have a hard time understanding why anyone would want to get a dog. (But then, I tend to not like other peoples' dogs as much as these two)

Part of it is that I truly hate being home alone at night with the dogs. Being alone with cats, that's fine.

Brodget & Sheila: "There's something horrible outside the front door! It's going to come get us! Save us! Save us! HEeeeeeeeeelp! No, you can't see it. But it's there!"

Criffin & Cinsand: "Well, if you're the only person here, you must give us bellyrubs. And how about a nice tuna sandwich? And then we'll snuggle up to you and fall asleep."

One of them has a much better effect on my paranoia.

Or maybe I'm just bitter because Bridget woke me up at 6:30 by running into my room barking, and Sheila keeps checking every ten minutes to see if I'm done with her bed.

But I guess begging for food by breathing noxious dog breath at me, or burping at me, is about on a par with just jumping up and taking the food out of my hands. So maybe animals in general are just hard to live with. But cats are more compact.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 1999

I wouldn't ask "Why a dog?"

But after reading various people's journals lately and listening to certain friends, I have to wonder instead:

"Why a boyfriend?"

If you look at Bill's original query and substitute "boyfriend" for "dog" throughout, it's just as valid a question if not more so. Except for the barking.

--Jette

-- Anonymous, August 27, 1999

Oh, man, that Labrador Retriever talk cracked me up. My boyfriend Dave always makes up conversation for our Lab/Golden, Mack. It goes something like this?

"Hey Dad, whatcha doing? I know this great game. I give you my slimey ball, and you throw it for me. I go get it and give it to you again. We can do that all afternoon."

My dogs always give me a reason to smile and laugh. They're always happy to see me, and I'm doing a good thing by taking in and caring for three dogs that were discarded by life.

I've got a sign that says it all, "Spoiled Rotten Dogs Live here."

Quite simply, I love them.

Colleen

-- Anonymous, August 29, 1999