Bankers' Words to Dispel Y2K Fears

By The Associated Press

Wednesday, August 25, 1999; 6:18 p.m. EDT

Excerpts from a sample sermon distributed by the American Bankers Association to help clergy dispel fears of a Year 2000 catastrophe. It is titled ``Thinking About Y2K: Moses, Orson Welles and Bill Gates'':

I doubt that even the wildly inventive mind of Orson Welles could have dreamed up a fantasy as improbable, yet as convincing, as Y2K. Who would have thought, after all, that America could be done in not by aliens from outer space, but by a bug in a computer? ...

You've heard the dire warnings, the off-the-wall forecasts and the downright silly predictions. Life insurance companies, they say, could bill us for coverage for the past 100 years. Airplanes won't get off the ground. And that could be the good news. Our bank accounts will show zero. Our mortgages will require another 100 years of payments. Hospital monitoring equipment will stop monitoring. The lights will go out. The phones will fail. We'll be plunged into a deep, cold winter without heat, electricity, money or -- worst of all -- pizza delivery. ...

Quite a few jokes have been made about Y2K as well. Perhaps you've heard that Bill Gates has just announced the official release date for the new Windows 2000 software.

It's to be the second quarter of 1901. ...

It's especially important that we -- as members of our community, believers in God and members of the family of faith -- set the example. We want to go into the new millennium with hope, eagerness and faith in this new century of promise. We don't want to be crouched in our basements with candles, matches and guns.

There are, after all, two ways to cross the Red Sea. With Moses, who with God's help, led the children of Israel into a bright, hopeful future. Or with Pharaoh, who in trying to preserve the old, hurled his chariots, his officers and his army into the sea. ...

Things will work. Hospitals will be open. Police and fire departments will be prepared. Power companies will be fully staffed. Banks will keep your money safe. They're backed by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., the FDIC, and the federal banking regulators have examined every bank in the country for Y2K readiness. ...

So in preparing for Jan. 1, 2000, do what you can. Trust God. Trust those you love. Be informed. And take a few practical steps. Save copies of your financial records. Keep a few days' worth of cash on you. Have a little extra food and water around the house if that makes you feel better.

======================================= End

Ray

-- Ray (ray@totacc.com), August 25, 1999

Answers

What a merchant!

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), August 25, 1999.

This kind of garbage borders on the criminal. It wouldn't surprise me if people like this are taken out and hanged and thrown to the dogs around March of 2000. It wouldn't bother me either.

-- cody varian (cody@y2ksurvive.com), August 25, 1999.

What cavalier cuckoo at AP thinks this is fit for the nine o' clock!? On the other hand, you can fire up your wood stove with all those financial records that mean nothing to the FDIC. Ask for duplicates!

Got matches?

-- poeticus (male@poeticus.com), August 25, 1999.