Finish this sentence...

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Breaking news 1/1/2000 ...Shortly after midnight, North Korea launched a strategic nuclear attack on South Korea. Details are sketchy because..

-- citizen (lost@sea.com), July 12, 1999

Answers

...because our computer generated tv graphics are on the blitz! We had to sketch with pens and paper to show you what is happening.

-- dw (y2k@outthere.com), July 13, 1999.

...White House Chief of Feed...opps...Staff Chicken Little was still pondering whether or not to ask for proof from Senior Economics Advisor Decker as to if a little nuclear war is actually good for the worlds economy. Apparently, even with the explosion of nuclear weapons on South Korea, Senior Military Analyst Y2k Pro could be heard saying, "there is no such thing as a strategic nuclear weapon." Regardless of what ever confusion may be coming from the White House at this time Senior Analyst Flint reminded everyone that even if fear is a factor the only thing to fear is fear itself which is actually not a logical response considering that blowing up a nuclear device is not logical and therefore *if* a nuclear device was ever utilized in military conflict surely there must be some other explanation because no matter what the current statistics show nuclear weapons are unsafe to human existance and obviously some madman lunatic would be responsible which goes directly to the challenges of the modern, human existance which in a nutshell is kaput.

or something like that

-- just havin fun (laugh @ little.com), July 13, 1999.


I was expecting a serious response, but i must admit I'm still laughing!!Execellent answers!

-- citizen (lost@sea.com), July 13, 1999.

just: LOL

-- a (a@a.a), July 13, 1999.

..we're having technical difficulties and our station's CET, Stephen Poole, has crapped in his toolkit...

-- (@ .), July 13, 1999.


... we are depending on live reports from one Paul Davis and his amaaaazzzzinnnng telescope.

(I may be wrong, but in one of his posts at one point, didn't he state that the earth was actually flat??)

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), July 13, 1999.

the world isn't flat??????????????????????????

I bet that's some Y2k glitch, huh?????????????

nope...doesn't work for me, darn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- just wanna have fun and be a polly (I wanna, I wanna be a polly@Pauls House.com), July 13, 1999.


King of Spain said "... we are depending on live reports from one Paul Davis and his amaaaazzzzinnnng telescope.

(I may be wrong, but in one of his posts at one point, didn't he state that the earth was actually flat??)

I agree King, with his head firmly implanted in a position to give expert hind sight, he would undoubtly be able to provide sound peripatetic ramblings as seen from his perch. I wonder if this is also responsible for the lack of depth perception and one dimensional perspectives he expounds akin to uniformitarianism.

-- Michael (mikeymac@uswest.net), July 13, 1999.


Breaking news 1/1/2000 ...Shortly after midnight, North Korea launched a strategic nuclear attack on South Korea. Details are sketchy because.. Funny Answer ...President Clinton claims the reports are 'blown' out of proportion. Clinton was quoted as saying "Well, it all depends on what your definition of a 'strategic nuclear attack' is...."

Serious Answer ...of a simultaneous cyber-attack on the world's satellites. It is unclear when, or if, any of the more than 200 satellites that had their orbits altered will be salvagable...

-TECH32-

-- TECH32 (TECH32@NOMAIL.COM), July 13, 1999.


Breaking news 1/1/2000 ...Shortly after midnight, North Korea launched a strategic nuclear attack on South Korea. Details are sketchy because..

all of our reporters have been revelling with Bill, Hillary, and Monica at the White House, and they are currently incoherant. We were, however, able to contact a person in the State Department at this late hour {the janitor} who told us the most likely action the President would take would be to impose economic sanctions against the North Koreans until they are willing to sit down at the negotiation table.

-- Don (dwegner@cheyenneweb.com), July 13, 1999.



... because the incoming missiles from China are interfering with our sky link. We hope to have the problem resolved before the Chinese missiles strike the US..... this just in, the President has declared Jan. 1 as 'Rummage Day'. He says this event will take place, according to his Chinese contributors, in select west coast cities. In a follow up story, he said that if nuclear weapons strike S.Korea, we will retaliate by sending a peace keeping force to N.Korea and they will not leave until there is love between the N. & S. Developing.

-- Daryl (rushmore@dailypost.com), July 13, 1999.

. . . because there's no one left to tell us what happened. All we can find is a few computers on the fringes of the blast area and they are all spewing out bad information.

-- winna (??@??.com), July 13, 1999.

my flashlight has just gone out and I can't read the teleprompter any more. Meanwhile we are still trying to get back in contact with our local in-depth news reporter downtown, Joe Blow, who had an eyewitness account of continued police investigation of the stampede and trampling injuries of ten thousand when the fireworks display at midnight was abruptly cancelled by the fire marshall when water pressure, lights, and phone services wer lost at midnight.

Joe, are you there? Joe? Joe - are you there?

-- Robert A Cook, PE (Kennesaw, GA) (cook.r@csaatl.com), July 13, 1999.


Because I have not completed my short wave Morse Code Class, too busy buyin' beans.SOS

-- Betty Alice (Barn266@aol.com), July 13, 1999.

Details are sketchy because...

... all our expert correspondents on nuclear attacks are still covering the recent detonations in India and Pakistan.

-- M.C. Hicks (mhicks@greenwich.com), July 13, 1999.



There is no way we're ever going to get an accurate report if King of Spain keeps slopping mud all over Paul Davis and his amaaazzzing telescope. This mud wrestling must stop. Let's golf.

-- gilda (jess@listbot.com), July 13, 1999.

Breaking news 1/1/2000 ...Shortly after midnight, North Korea launched a strategic nuclear attack on South Korea. Details are sketchy because..

..this is CNN.

-- James Earl (the voice) Jones (jejones@news.cnn), July 13, 1999.


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