GOOD-news--BAD-news. TRUE--WHO,S

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

good-news>www.soon.org.uk----bad--news>i got-to confess i started out on this forum as a jerk. i said i,d go-away. but LORD said go back. i prayed'told him i made a jackass of myself. HE said>i can alway,s use an HONEST-JACKASS.I USED ONE TO TURN-A-REBELLIOUS-PROPHET AROUND. i said LORD they don,t like my posts about-you. HE said>so??they didn,t like me when i was here in person.HE said- WHO,s got the good-news-the WORLD-or-ME? i said but LORD they keep telling me this ain,t a religious-site; to go to pastor chris,s site.HE said this site is MINE. ALL on EARTH is MINE' HE said -didn,t i tell you'NEVER FEAR WHAT MAN can do'FEAR THE ONE -WHO KEEPS mens hearts beating. HEtold me THIS MORNING to tell those that have ears to hear>>> HE will >USe y2k for HIS -purposes. a separation. a cleansing.HE saidI HAVE BEEN LONG-SUFFERING and PATIENT with mankind but there PRIDE has reached the point that I WILL NO-LONGER TOLERATE. i said oh LORD please don,t make me do this'' HE said-son choose whom you will serve. i said LORD i,m sure enough gonna get-spooned now. HE said leave that to ME.I SAID lord WHY DO YOU[in-me] want to be on this forum?? HE said i,m sick of christiann,s who hide in churches' that are afraid of puny men, HE said I didn,t hide in the temple when I WALKED ON EARTH. I WAS A FRIEND OF SINNERS. I CAME TO SEEK & SAVE.-- he SAID LEAVE YOUR ENEMIES TO ME.--HE SAID>I THE LORD KNOW ALL MEN,S HEART,S.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999

Answers

LORD, could you please send down a STRAIGHT-JACKET please for al-d?

-- Feller (feller@wanna.help), June 22, 1999.

Who wants to suffer a fool? Appears there one here that needs suffering real bad.

-- Carol (GLEAR@usa.net), June 22, 1999.

That's right, Craig never got around to spooning you, did he?

Hey, al-d, one thing you might do is pick one thread and keep adding to it, rather than starting new ones. Whenever you add a new post to it, the thread will bounce to the top of New Answers: we'll know you have something new to say, and we'll come check in on you.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.


It's not that we don't like your posts about God........it's your posts about YOUR PERCEPTION of God we don't like......

God never told you to portray him as you do......your own imagination based on the false teaching you have received did that.

You would have done really well in old Israel al-d. What you keep on repeating is so filled with references to the old covenant that you have a lethal mixture. If you must preach continuously, choose either the old covenant or the new covenant. This poor mixture actually does nothing but cause confusion about who God is.

Take some time away from posting to get to really know the God of love. I know many people who claim to have 'heard from God' and have yet to meet one that has any real stability or peace in their lives. Understand that God is the Father of all mankind, not just some select group that places you higher than anyone else.

Be honest with us al-d, I'll bet you are feeing like an emotional wreck at the moment aren't you.........

And please don't get the wrong impression that you are being persecuted........I'm telling you these things for your own peace of mind.

You don't even know what 'Spooning' is and yet you're so worried about it you feel the need to talk to God about it.......c'mon, you need to reall think about what your perception of God is al-d.

-- Craig (craig@ccinet.ab.ca), June 22, 1999.


ok. lisa-thanks i didn,t know that. you wouldn,t mind if i post 1=good news post per-week ,would you?too much bad news wears the soul-out. i,m getting quite a few private-e-mails asking for more info.-on>permaculture.i,ve said all i,m gonna say about my personal feelings-believe me my [good-news--bad-news post] was hard to-do. believe it or not. i have some survival-tips. to-share, but i will put them on threads. i respect your advice. my last thought.>''fear won,t make y2k-go-away.'' i know a little about stress-mgmt.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.


Um... time for the spoon, I'd say.

-- regular (zzz@z.z), June 22, 1999.

Is there really a "we?" Or is it just my perception?

-- Barb (awaltrip@telepath.com), June 22, 1999.

well, CRAIG. i appreciate you honesty. but i disagree, i,m not hung-up in old-tesament. we are in the period-of=grace.THE LAW=KILLS-THE SPIRIT=GIVES LIFE.that,s why JESUS >said you-must be born-again. IT,S a spiritual-thing.TRYING TO KEEP the law-leads to frustration.IF-we could keep the>law-WHY would we need a SAVIOUR? i,m a perfect example of one who needs GOD,S GRACE. if HE gave me what i deserve i,d be toast.NO i,m not afraid of you spooning-me=whatever that means.if it be GOD,S WILL=so be it.i love all GODS-CREATION including all'that mock-me. IF you we,re god-how-long would you let anyone-DISRESPECT-YOU? ijudge no-one, butit don,t take a rocket-scientist-to realize the world-is-in-a BIG-MESS. or too put it another way>do youlet your kids do anything they-please even if you know it will-destroy-them?/ wouldn,t be much-of-a-parent.i guess you didn,t read my-post>[what me worry?] that,s not boasting. but i know WHO holds ALL things-to-gether.JESUSsaid not to worry,that,s good enough for-me. have a nice-day. i,m gonna feed the pup,s-check the pond. plant some soy-beans' and enjoy-GOD,S BLESSINGS.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

Forget it Lisa, there isn't any use in trying to talk sense to a delusional dim-wit. al-d will do as he damn well pleases, screw everyone else, nobody counts but him, he is on a mission from God.

Hey al,

come on over here dipshit, I'll frickin spoon ya!

BTW, if you are right and God owns everything, could you ask him what happened to my deposit at *his* porno video club?

PS, you're still a jerk.

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


al-d,

Pastor Chris has a forum for this. Turn up your hearing aid miracle ear. What happen to your promise not to post here anymore?

-- Y2K Stud (Y2KStud@lover.com), June 22, 1999.



lisa i would like to get into your pant,s> come on over and stay awhile, i,m a hunk of burnin love

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

Man.... I love this place......

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.

Lisa....

Keep a close eye on them Dogs!!

-- Just (alerting@you.now), June 22, 1999.


There is an archive "Personal Considerations" in the TB 2000 Prep Archives located now (thanks) in the "About" link at the top of the postings page that includes discussions about the spiritual aspects of Y2K prep FYI for all who might be concerned that this type of discussion is not relevant to the Y2k issue.

-- Barb (awaltrip@telepath.com), June 22, 1999.

Unca Dee sounds like a whiny weenie who probably doesn't like even like dogs (pets anyway). Rather have his make believe women, the ones who usually have a background of being molested/abused. That makes him feel like a big guy, the kind who cyber bashes. Funny how riled you make them. I enjoy your tips al-d.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.


It has zero to do with y2k and just because your little mind believes it does, doesnt make it so. Pastor Chris has a forum for this.

-- Y2k Stud (Y2kStud@lover.com), June 22, 1999.

Sex maniacs and hypocrites. Thanks for identifying yourselves. Time to cut the fat off the y2k pig.

-- sheerman (sheerman@hippo.cretons), June 22, 1999.

(Wannabe)Stud: I noticed that al-d's name was on the opening of the thread, easy enough to skip over, unless you are frustrated from being rejected by women and need someone to take it out on. (Those who can, do,... those who wish they could, call themselves Stud).

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

I am sorry that you cant read ther MUmsie, I said there is a forum for the religious folks and it is at Pastor Chris. Next time I will type slower for you.

-- Y2k Stud (Y2kStud@lover.com), June 22, 1999.

Ohhh, duuuhhhh Studless... did you manage to reeeaaaddd al-d's name at beginning of thread?

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

Mumsie,

Thank you for showing what a true hypocrite you are. Why are you attacking me personally? Did I mention anywhere in my post that I was a wonderful lover or a stud? Because I use a nick that has stud in it you seem to assume that I believe I am a stud. Do you believe that Big Dog is a Big Dog? All I was doing was pointing out that there is a religious forum. Keep on attacking me personally if it makes you feel better.

-- Y2kStud (Y2KStud@lover.com), June 22, 1999.


Oh! Oh oh oh! The slings and arrows! Ouch! Wounded I am, bleeding! Boo hoo hoo! Such cutting wit!

Hey Mumsie, if you like al-d that's fine by me. I don't, so I'm gonna grump at him. If you don't like that, well, tough shat.

PS, Ms. psychoANAList, I have four dogs and a cat, love them all. And I don't NEED to feel like a big guy, 6-5, 230lbs takes care of it nicely, thanks. BTW, (that means *by the way* in case you are as dull as al-d) I don't think any of my women have ever been abused, but I did enjoy molesting them. (with their permission, of course)

Have a nice day, hon!

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


Okay Stud...why is it hypocritical for me to defend your gutter snipes at al-d? And I never claimed to be a saint. I'm quick tempered, particularly when I feel someone has the bully mentality. Honestly, you talk about al-d dominating threads. Then why don't you skip his threads? He has also contributed helpful tips. I don't know if al-d is sixty or sixteen. I don't know what his old posts were all like. I don't know what you or Unc D are like. I just read comparatively harmless posts by al-d, and saw that you seemed to consider it open season on the guy. It's easy to throw sh_t but not so fun when it comes back your way.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

Really Big Guy? Ever watched "When Harry Met Sally"? Or maybe you are the sixteen year old with acne and fantasies.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

Pointing out that there is a religious forum is being a bully? I have never started a thread so get your facts straight.

-- Y2k Stud (Y2kStud@lover.com), June 22, 1999.

that,s ok. mumsie--let em rave on.they laughed in NOAH,S day & JESUS SAID-ONE-OF THE BIGGEE-SIGNS-OF HIS-SOON-RETURN-WAS[AS-IT-WAS-IN-THE-DAY,S-OF-NOAH-SO-SHALL-IT-BE-AT-T HE-COMING-OF-THE-LORD] i didn,t say it HE=DID.LIKE AS IF THE FACT that thers been more killer-earthquackes in last 10-years in 1 year, than was ever. since they 1st started recording. hm? just a coincedence. i ain,t predicting-nuthin. but somethings in the wind.-so-to-speak. and what about all-the new killer-viruses.& old ones-that are resistant.--just coincidence??-noah-built a physical-ark. JESUS IS OUR FOREVER-ARK.---rave-on=buba.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

Girls, Girls, you're both pretty.

-- JohnMunch (Det.JohnMunch@BaltimoreHomicide.com), June 22, 1999.

I love it when it comes back my way, the most fun I've ever had on this forum were times when goofs were pickin on me.

Oh, and dear, I only said that I enjoyed it.

Can't you read?

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


Well, I'm 5'7, 130lb, drink bourbon, hate cats and don't know where this thread went wrong..... everybody here is good people.

al-d did agree to post one thread per week (and append to it when something new crosses his mind), and that settles everything, right? Everybody have a nice day.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.


You're right Lisa.

Can't we all just get along?

I'll give al-d a break for a while. Besides, it's time for me to go pop my zits and masturbate.

Ta ta

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


If you check the ip #'s you will find that al-d and mumsie are one in the same.

-- Y2K Pro (2@641.com), June 22, 1999.

Lisa,

Bourbon and you hate cats. You wanna get married?

-- Ihatecats (Ihatecats@deadones.com), June 22, 1999.


Ok, Y2KPro: cough it up, where are the IP addresses visible?

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.

Why would I give up my little secret to a doomer?

-- Y2K Pro (2@641.com), June 22, 1999.

to=big-bad>unc. dee, you really scare me bud.in my before christ-life' in my prime-of-life beer-drinking-hell raising-day,s[loved a good fight] i especially enjoyed kickin-big-boy-butts. i have very [trained] quick-feet & hands.and wasn,t ashamed to use weapon to equalize the situation. but know i,m old-& got a little-more-sense. you,ll be ok.when you grow-up. love-yu bro.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

Y2KPro: because you're a sweet little ol' gal?

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.

al-d what a load of shit you are. You lie more then Clinton under oath.

-- ohmy (ohmy@bs.com), June 22, 1999.

Ald you had your fun posting your crap, now why don't you and all you other personalities go away.

-- talk (talkabout@growingup.com), June 22, 1999.

OK al

Since you sound a lot like me, does that mean that I can look forward to ending up like you?

Love you too, babe.

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


Al-d and Mumsie are the same person? I sure hope not! THAT'S scary! :-)

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 22, 1999.

One other thing al, I stood up for your right to post here when you started posting. But enough is enough bud, stick to a couple of threads instead of starting a new one every time your brain farts.

THAT is why I'm on your case.

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 22, 1999.


did ya ever notice the ones' who hate my-posts just can,t help themselves-they gotta[peep] JESUS loves the little childre=red or yellow -black-or-white,[and even those that like to fight] yes JESUS loves the little children of the world.-sing-along now-da da dada da da da da.---won,t heaven be fun--we,ll be saying to each-other>remember when i used to hate you.AND i,ll say no-big-deal-hey ya wanna come see my pond?

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

No, Y2K Prozac is full of it again.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

Al-d,

Jesus ask me to give you a message. PLEASE QUIT ACTING THE FOOL.

-- Moses (Moses@Heaven.com), June 22, 1999.


Much more civil Unc D, thanks.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

See I told you idiot doomers that they are one in the same.

-- Y2K Pro (2@641.com), June 22, 1999.

Prozac Y2Kclueless...prove it or shut up.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

Mumsie: I was thinking that the suck-up-to-Y2Kazoo-approach might work a litle better.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), June 22, 1999.

daer>moses@heaven??????? i didn,t know they had p.c.s in heaven?? anyhow how you figure i,m acting the fool?? i ain,t ashamed of JESUS. but i am gonna chill-unless theLORD tell,s me to share something. i hope your not-one of those lemon-sucking' can,t have no fun-religious-chosen-frozen. types. it say,s in proverbs=laughter is good for your=health. i ain,t talkin about getting shag-nasty. one of the funniest things i ever saw was a prim & proper church-lady get so excited her wig fell-off. & she put it back-on backwards.i cracked-up. and i guess i,m a gross sinner cause i watch>t.vs funniest videos? yup i,m a fool alright-1 happy-don,t have to worry-old-fool.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 22, 1999.

You know, the more I read al-d's posts, the more I think this is someone else. It's almost like a "game" to try to sound dumb. To spell incorrectly on purpose. hmmmm... The level of knowledge concerning Biblical things doesn't match the poor spelling and grammar. hmmmm...

-- Gayla Dunbar (privacy@please.com), June 22, 1999.

Just for the record Gayle, (since I assume you are familiar with al- d's old posts and I am not), I am not a multiple personality except in Y2K Pro's imagination. I have left out my real email for the same reason as everyone else, but am willing to correspond with any serious preparers. I'm just not sure how to do it without a box full of spam.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 22, 1999.

--al,

Just keep on keepin on.

-- R. Wright (blaklodg@hotmail.com), June 23, 1999.


I think I may have just figured al-d out. Follow me here a moment. Without looking too deeply into what al-d says, go back and scan over his posts.

Now, what I think is that al-d is trying to to a DiETeR ripoff.

He's missing the mark by a wide margin, but surley that is what he/she HAS to be doing. NO?

The stuff is every bit as hard to read as DiEtER but lacks the style and obviously lacks the humor, or maybe I'm too deense to get it.

-- Greybear (greybear@home.com), June 23, 1999.


I feel like I just stumbled into "One flew over the Cuckoo's Nest"!

-- Dian (bdp@accessunited.com), June 23, 1999.

to all, you guy,s on this forum'i,m what they call in pen. 'stuck-out' i don,t fit here & i don,t fit in religeous circles. ilike real-people-even fussers & cussers, so many religeous types are scared to have-fun.i ain,t into filth- but i sure enjoy some of the crack-up-posts i see here.so many religeous types think if you say -shit-you,ve lost your salvation.paul the apostle said i count all things i once cherished as >dung=shit.furthermore JESUS prefered the company of sinners, his worst-critics-enemy,s we,re religious-pharisees.they,re the one,s that got him crucified.the romans just did there-dirty-work.JESUS died for imperfect-people-like i said on one of my old-posts what people do with his offer of love-is they business.if hopeing in GOD,S-LOVE & HELP in y2k-then call me crazy.

-- al-d. (CATT@ZIANET.COM), June 23, 1999.

al-d ip #206.150.201.44 Mumsies ip #206.150.201.44

-- Y2K Pro (2@641.com), June 23, 1999.

The sad thing about having split personalities is:

You are unaware of the other *people* who could sing along with you in the shower. al-d has at least a duet he's missing out on.

-- Unc D (unkeed@yahoo.com), June 23, 1999.


All right, will a a computer literate person besides Y2K Prozac speak up? I don't know anything about his supposed numbers, but now I know that Y2K Pro-Liar stoops to anything to feel like he's won. I guess logic and truth aren't part of his arsenal. Hmmm, wonder if I read his old posts what I will find? Probably a crock of it. I'm waiting for someone who knows computers (and whose name I recognize, not trusting Y2K Prozac to develop a sudden new personality) to speak up, and then we will see who is delusional/deceptive.

-- Mumsie (Lotsakids@home.com), June 23, 1999.

There's nothing in the script that is set to capture and print the I.P. address here so Y2K Pro, are you just trying to play the game to 'win' the argument or what?

I suppose if you really wanted to, you could put in a redirect in HTML to send the viewers of a page to perhaps an .asp page on your own server and capture their i.p. address but that would not prove conclusively that the viewer of the page was the one that had just made the contribution and also, the thread would be terminated rather quickly.

You could also goad certain users into clicking a hyperlink or action button that would take them to a page on your server where you could capture their I.P. address also without them knowing it I suppose. But you haven't done that either.

C'mon, send me an email with what approach you have used if in fact you have been honest. If so, I'll even post a verification that you know how to do it to the group so they won't harass you about it any more!

-- Craig (craig@ccinet.ab.ca), June 23, 1999.


YOUR FUTURE HAS BEEN A COMPLETE MYSTERY... For YOU are lucky enough to "live" in the End Times when the Word of Jehovah's Prime Ordinance has been made known to "Man"kind by the Primanimal SubGenius, the High Epopt of the Church! In the early Fifties an industrious young American drilling equipment salesman, while watching late-night TV, was abruptly Removed and transported astrally to the 'IDGE' of JEHOVAH 1 HIMSELF! In this seizure-like trance he took the brunt of the first brain-buffeting communionications of countless to come from the alien Jehovah: awesome pronouncements which form the sacred PRESCRIPTURES of the SubGenius (available for S19.98 at most bookstores!)

This milestone in Man's mined path to Slack was THE DIVINE EMACULATION OF J.R. "BOB" DOBBS!!

Who IS "Bob"?

While yet the least approachable or scrutable of the vast SubGenius membership, he is the preeminent and most frequently invoked of the god-zillion Personal Saviors of the SubGenius. While he remains an anonymous executive shunning publicity or recognition at a faceless multinational corporation, he is nevertheless The Most Ascended Master, the original Retriever of Jehovah's Message on Earth and basic model of the Archetype SubGenius. He set the "anti-pattern" of random conduct among all those who are now practicing SubGeniuses. His are the defects and peccadillos that we 'analize,' his the Slongs and Jests which we devotedly twist and distort for future generations according to our unexplored whims. - And yet the only photos of him that exist are grainy frame blow-ups from Grade Z movie thrillers in which he played bit parts! Dobbs is, of course, the ultimate symbol of SubGeniusness, but despite/because of his infrahuman mediumship he possesses one single failing above and beyond all other shortcomings: his omninclusive FOLLIES. Yet where they would be crippling stubbing-blocks for another person, in Dobbs they loom stranger-than-life. His ten billion all-too-human quasimodalities embody, in some cheaply symbolic way, all the Foibles of the Primate Race. Dobbs is a miacrocosm encapsulating the imperfektions of the so-called 'human condition;' his Blunders and Idiocies, errors and inadvertencies are perhaps more sacrosanct, more deserving of analitization than even his hallowed salesmanship. None of "Bob's" words or deeds are particularly spectacular: their holiness lies in their nondescript but inviolable triviality. As Dobbs once 'spouted,' "The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is." Since his Emaculation, Dobbs has been divinely shoved down the behavio-electric Path of Least Resistance to become the living incarnation of Slack on Earth. As mysteriously and profitably as he doles out his prophecies and cassette messages, he unfailingly (yet, perhaps, accidentally) enrichens himself with material things using only the exagerated human nature he was born with. Just as the Nazarene was a carpenter, so is "Bob" a salesman - the High Sales Man of the SubGenius - and whereas his stature as hero and holyman of the SubGenius flock is still obscure to the Mediocretins who make up 80flo of the Overpop, among fellow salesmen he is internationally known as "The Man Who Can Sell Anything." "Bob's" surreavolutionary doctrine of PATRIO-PSYCHOTIC ANARCHO- MATERIALISM has found ever-larger numbers of zealous adherents despite relentless persecution by the FBI and other robot engines of the Conspiracy. Furthermore, Dobbs is the only Adept to pass the scrutiny of The Illuminati Corporation's rigorous scientific tests for ectosplasmodic manifestations. From Dobbs came the prophetic utterances which are now severe and compulsory Tenets of the Church. He popularized the concept of Critical-Paranoiac Follies Evaluation by which we know that "...any inanity spouted by a SubGenius at any given time automatically becomes part of orthodox SubGenius Liturgy." It is one of the single greatest Tenets, for by its own very token one can also deny it later. It is erasable. For instance, a guilty SubGenius speaks an Inanity which later proves anti-nonprofit. He can then insist, "No, I didn't say that. It was merely my 'image'...my 'id' took over temporarily." Logically, then, nothing that a SubGenius says is any more or less true and consecrable than any other thing he just happens to utter - even (and especially) if they are contradictory. The SubGenius is an hebephreniac Oxymoron who speaks in Slangs and oxymora. So it doesn't matter what you say or who hears you say it. See? Dobbs denies vehemently that things should ever happen according to preset 'plans,' telling us to look instead to the blunders and flukes of our lives for inspiration - for will not Jehovah determine our fates at every twist and turn anyway?? Can any philosophy other than BULLDADA be brought to bear to preserve us from such impaling facts???

WHAT IS BULLDADA?

What is not? Bulldada is the nearly unexplainable label for that mysterious quality that impregnates ordinary things with meaning for the SubGenius no matter how devoid of value they may appear to The Others. Seeing in the vivisecting light of bulldada, we recognize that the most awe-inspiring artifacts of our civilization are not the revered artsy-fartsy pieces of "culture" displayed in our swankest art museums, universities and concert halls - as the Conspiracy would have us believe! - but are instead to be found in such icons as low- budget exploitation movies, lurid comic books, all-nite TV, sleazy Paperbacks of the Gods, certain bizarre billboards and pulp magazine ads, and literally any other fossil of raw humanity in all its shit- kickingly flawwed glory. Bulldada shows us that cheesiness tells the Truth and gives good Slack whereas status-mongered slickness is merely a sheen of sham value dangled as bait for the hungry dollars of the idiot bourgeois. The SubGenius is not interested in dignified "Learning" or even science fiction - no, what he craves is greasy SCI-FI. He is a veritable scholar of CHEEPNIS! For when a certain level of shoestring- budget "exquisite badness" is descended to on the Rungs of Art, one hits'the cut-off point where true bulldada begins, the 'edge valve' where the SubGenius starts finding almost religious interpretation for the results of atrocious craftsmanship, the point after which a work's quality as a piece of bulldada increases in inverse proportion to its ability to yell a coherent story. The less sophisticated a motion picture (our highest art form) becomes, for instance, the more dismemberingly eternal are the truths between the lines. MARS NEEDS WOMEN! PANIC IN YEAR ZERO! Often, they contain inadvertent prophecies - as well as unexpected background appearances of Dobbs! PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE! MONDO BIZARRO! bulldada the latest exploration into the world of advanced surrealist morealism in which the mind is filled with dirt and lugs which trickle like mutilated centipedes down the sides of the cranium to find sheller and rest inside the now sightless eye-sockets. - Shredni Chisholm: definition of bulldada

DADAISM (Fr. dada, hobby horse), an artistic movement begun in Zurich in 1916 as a protest against the folly of war and against the civilization that engendered it. Its scope was enlarged, as it spread to Berlin, Paris, and New York, to express disgust with all that was conventional and sacrosanct by portraying deliberately inane objects as art of the highest order. The school was well represented by such artists as Man Ray, Max Ernst, Marcel Duchamp, and Hans Arp, and succeeded in developing psychological, aesthetic, and technical experiments through its encouragement of uncensored spontaneity, thereby allowing a multitude of new forms to appear in the artistic world which eventually found their milieu in the more guided application of surrealism. The movement faded out in 1922 and many Dadaists became surrealists. Yes! A sentimental fool who never grew up and who cries over lost ideals, a sinner and a goof-off, the SubGenius is fully capable of recieving authentic god-consciousness from soap operas and monster movies, junkyards and "dives," freakshows and back alleys which most normals have been programmed to consider 'dumb.' What They cannot know is that 'dumbness' - Cheepnis - vital and sincere ignorance - reveals far more about the Interestingly Violent and Taboo World Around Us than any overpriced geegaw that critics and Pink Boys have told us is "art" or "science." THE SUBGENIUS FARTS AT THOSE WHO WOULD TELL HIM WHAT HE SHOULD SPEND MONEY ON. A wino mumbling in his own vomitus is dribbling parables of as soaring a height of bulldada as the rich, creamy superstitions of a thousand popes and witch doctors. Bulldada is accidental greatness, inadvertent Hilariation, but MOREALISM is the deliberate invocation of bulldada and is now heralded by the Church of the SubGenius. In his works of morealism the SubGenius strives for skim-proof shock value, overembellishment, bludgeon humor and morbid yuks. Thus, like his mentor "Bob," he is a great Wiseacre, an orthodox fundadamentalist and a Scatman. "FUCK THEM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE."

COUNTLESS PERSONAL SAVIORS!!

The SubGenius knows, bulldadaistically, that each human should do Jehovah's work exactly as He reveals it to them, and that He has wildly varying messages for different people in different situations. By the same token, it is madness to accept any one 'personal savior' - even Dobbs - as a permanent guide. The greatest of the inventions of the SubGenius is the SHORT DURATION PERSONAL SAVIOR, or "Shordurpersav." The True SubGenius accepts into his heart, as his own personal savior, anyone or anything with which he happens to be impressed at the moment. Shordurpersavs change from hour to hour, whim to whim. It could be the hero of a show you just saw, the author of a filthy book, a bottle of Thunderbird, a good pal, a car, a dog, a sex object, a friendly croaker who scripts for you. Not professional gurus you are locked into believing, but temporary ones according to the need of the "Now. " They change so fast that it never gets embarrassing, you aren't inclined to 'proselytize' them off on disinterested others who will later laugh at you; you know their effects will wear off in minutes (even though the very idea is unthinkable while under the Influence). One needs not mention them at all - a superb Tenet, since one is sometimes deeply ashamed of oneself for having a particularly unsavory Shordurpersav: some few can be Personal Saviors and False Prophets at the same time. With this plethora of recombinant philosophies and Personal Saviors, the SubGenius is well-fueled, stoked to the fusion-point with spiritual fodder. Once he has "decided" whether to attack life through the REWARD SYSTEM ("Oh, Well'') or the EMERGENCY SYSTEM ("Oh Shit!"), he is primed up and ready to plunge, with or without the consent of Dobbs (who he will probably never meet) into the Slack- Search through the Short Wave Activities or Minor Fluctuations of the Stoogely Arts which make up the daily life of the Practicing (as opposed to Latent, Rogue, or Renegade) SubGenius. The most frequently indulged of these Activities is "GOBBING ON LIFE, "opposite from yet similar to the ritual "Massing Around" of Them. Like the ancient alchemists in search of their alleged Philosopher's Stone, he is merely gobbing, trying to 'get by' with as little effort and as well-greased mistakes as possible on the Path of Least Resistance. Often misconstrued as a totally unconstructive, slothful lifestyle, it is actually a Holy Grailoid 'Ion Quest' for the sacred principle of Something for Nothing - he is, in effect, trying to become a perpetual motion machine, fueled only by the welfare of the State which he considers merely a phantasm, another illusion in this vale of nonexistent material things. If nothing else, he at least becomes an expert Floorsleeper and Tubemaster. A rich or else industrious spouse is a welcome partner on this sacred road, a favorite of Rewardians who seek timelessly to reward themselves for things they are "about to do." The False Prophets, the Conpirators, Them, the Mediocretins, the stupid Pink Boys, the malignant ones who breathe down our necks and abuse their territorial urges without ever dreaming that they are doing it, the ones who have tried to maim our self-respect down through the centuries by making Slack and antipredictability TABOO in this human culture. They are the offensive ones who brought this Buck Rogers monstrosity of microchips and inflation, nothing makes sense anymore and everything costs too much, the weather is weird, WHY DID THEY DO IT? Don't they know they're begging for the flaming sword of Retribution?? The space monsters aren't about to let us get away with this masturbatory industrialization much longer, they watch our TV shows, they know all about us and can snuff our already disarrayed civilization with but a whisper to their ultimate computer brain, the brooding computer which we will have soon too, the computer so complex it is not a machine, it is more of a moss-like independent growth of circuits which it prints itself, sprawling through our homes, quietly overwhelming, YES the aliens will "give" it to us, we floundering human beings will fight nuclear wars with each other trying to decide whether to turn this unwholesome 'mouth of a Trojan gift-horse' ON or OFF, in the end we will turn it ON, and then by God we will not be able to do WITHOUT it. REPENT!! The End Times are drawing near, the X-ists are about to land, the False Prophets will kiss their dinosaurian asses and this planet will be sold down the river as sure as Lee Harvey Oswald's clone cashed the Conspiracy's checks. Just as "Bob" predicts in The Prescriptures, the proven modern prophecies of the SubGenius, we are one royal hair trigger from the Wrath of Jehovah 1, His galactic Finger is itchy and He is not well pleased with what Man hath wrought, REPENT THEN and prepare for the Age of Tribulations, you think last winter was bad, wait until the glaciers are at your driveway, the earth shall shake, the sky shall fall, space junk, tornados, hail the size of Cadillacs, plutonium clouds, sunspots, the stifling of all photosynthesis in the seas, ugly mutant locusts that carry DDT in their stings, famine even in California, a dustbowl in Canada, microwave roach steaks $5.99, drinking water you have to boil first and pay for, recombinant viruses, contagious cancers, one day you'll go to the mirror like poor Bert did to pop a 'blemish' and find your whole face cracking with each pinch like a rotten tomato, The Plague! But these are only the natural things, acts of God or Satan, they blanch in the face of MAN'S deeds to come, man's nonprimateness to man, the Government, my God the Endarkenment of the next century will be marked by the rise of OVERMEN, superior mutants, BETTER than us, handsomer, more muscular, brilliant like Shakespeare or Einstein, but evil, they can do everything better than we can, self-righteous man- made supermen, an unclean bunch of clowns who will tread too far into the accursed Forbidden Sciences and come back controlling Time but so addicted to doing so that they will lead the stewing broiling mass of humans into a technological Hell, WOTF, a war with Mars over a worm, Jesus Christ you must believe it will all begin in 1982 when all the planets, the Earth and the Sun, all line up with the dog star Sirius, the Silver Star, in 1998 it will draw the X-ists to us like flies to a dungdish, oh they won't stay long, they'll leave us, completely free to do as we please, but their unnameable "maggots" will remain. Diabolic caricatures, hideously silent, evasive, but always with us. WE WILL BE DOGS TO THEM in more ways than you can count. Yes, it will be bad, why do you think they call it Apocalypse?? The Book of Revelations is an alien text, those space monsters know what they're about to do with us, they knew it 2000 years ago, but what they don't know any more than we do is what The Prescriptures mean when they darkly refer to THE RUPTURE, the cosmic vortex calamity after the biblical Apocalypse and somehow a godzillion times worse, Omicron Epsilon, yes REPENT! Repent and fornicate like your life depended on it but know all along that the cannibal False Prophets wait to sell you out at every trick turn, remember wherever you go that the pleasant, harmless looking human beings shopping all around you will quietly acquiesce to purchasing anything dangled in front of them by a superior intelligence whether the dangler is human or not and whether what is dangled is humane or not. Yes the smiling False Prophets of every race will sell you hot lead, cold steel, and a one-way ticket to Hell without it ever crossing their minds that the buttons were pushed by their squeaky-clean little pink fingers. And so AIEEE the gore-drenched night-spawned Goal, the be-all and end- all of the full devastating evilangelism of the SubGenius, is the Casting Out of the False Prophets. It is the voiceless Ground Zero of the Three Anti-Nonviolent Action Protograms: REMOVAL, ELIMINATION, and the SCOURING of this cage Earth; it is the Sacred Vindictive Grudge-Chore of Vengeance at which the groping alien monster god prods us. In whichever way Jehovah 1 instructs him, the SubGenius Unmasks those False Prophets as he is wont to Remove (to ascertain that a SubGenius is not hiding beneathl); he Makes Witness against them, and in so doing unleashes the full force of the Mockery Sciences: Mocking and Reviling, Scoffing and Blaspheming, Making Sport, Taboo Shattering, Namismatic Flaudulation of the English Language, the Tumping of Graven Images; in short, Waging the Wor and Smiting the Infidels: and yet he does this in common everyday conversation if he so chooses; his foe never notices the subliminal commands in the SubGenius Jests. Eventually he escalates to SHOCK VALUE: he goes among the enemy Relabeling, Pro- phesying and Diesecting::: - Wielding the Raygun Finger of Unrelenting Humiliation in a zeal- fevered studlust of territorial sexhurt domination!! - But it is not enough for these fat soft devilsl "Too much is always better than not enough." - Dobbs, Ec.1:23. To slake his ever-mounting thirst for revenge he finds he most go beyond the 'formal' dictates of the Church; his personal violence, in whatever form, has exceeded even those unholy shrieking limits; the transfigured RENEGADE SUBGENIUS schizms from his Lodge, he joins an anti-SubG operation such as the Pink Boys (in the process disavowing any knowledge in general), he then shucks all semblance of human acceptability, goes full-tilt Mandrill and finally becomes the feared ROGUE SUBGENIUS, capable of any unmentionable act and owing allegiance to nothing. The gun barrel bumps once against the victim's forehead, he hears the click only, not the BANG, and he leaves his arithmetic running down the wall behind him. "Fuck Them If They Can't Take A Joke." Ha! - but this has all been a sham. To keep blame from the Church, the 'Rogue' has been main- taining a false front of madness while actually serv- ing as a calculating Now-Or-Later Nihilator of the Goon Squad of the SubGenius! (Countless villains of history and science were 'Rogue SubGeniuses' working Jehovah's indecipherable plans. We admit all this to insure disbelief. ) This is an action church! Jihad! Holy War! Religion is not some panty-waist formula to sit upon fatly complacent! It is clean-shaven WAR! "The Gig is up." We are all equal in God's eyes if not Jehovah's and this gives us each a divine license to SMITE! Jehovah's Winepress spilleth over with the blood of the innocent and there must be JUSTICE! AAIIIEEEE! Kali Yuga! The buttholes must be untimely Clipp'd! See then the SubGenius and know that his Laws change with the wind in his Contra Diction!...his Church thus reflects life in all its spasmodic glory!! could this be the end?



-- rev. ganja man (!@!.!), June 24, 1999.


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