I'm back at the depression stage

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When I first found out about the implications of Y2K I went through the process someone had mentioned before. I was consumed with getting as much done as possible to prepare for my family. Maybe it's burn-out but I can't seem to get motivated now. I just want to sit home alone and blow the day away. I feel so lathargic, no energy to even get through the regular routine of the day much less to think about all the preparations I need to be making for the future.

I bought a dehyd. and don't even have the ambition to try and master this new way of food preservation, along with a canner and pressure canner.

I'm reading as much as I can on the subject of y2k and necessary preparations, but am truly scared. I am controlled by my computer these days. I "have to" get on line several times a day, at least. Then all the new information I read about puts my mind in over-load. My husband and I have always wanted to live in the country and I feel now is the time, but finances prevent us from doing so. Now I'm scared about being in the city and the implications of what this could mean.

Then I get to thinking about the storage of water! I have even read that we should dig a well right in our own basement. I know I need to take a breather, but then I feel that one more precious day of preparation time has been lost.

We have to buy a wood stove and wood. Then barrels for water storage and figure the safest way to store it. Then food, and safe storing of that and supplies. Anyone stopped to figure out how much all this "advanced preparation" is costing us? $1000.s This board has been great and I guess today I just need to know that I really am okay and not alone. Thanks everyone, Mary

-- Mary Howe (doesnotmatter@thistime.com), October 22, 1998

Answers

Mary:

Take your eyes off yourself, your problems, and your fears. Lay off the computer (which can be depressing in itself) for a few days and simply talk to the Lord. Here's a little chorus to consider:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glorious grace".

Arcy

-- Arcy (arcy.w@usa.net), October 22, 1998.


As I have said to many people on this forum - overdoing it and getting depressed will not help you at all. Calm down and think about something else for a few days. Dry some banana chips and make some trail mix, it tastes good and you can eat it while you read a book or something. Not everyone thinks we are going for total meltdown, I certainly don't. You should prepare within your means and not bet the farm on total destruction of our society - you can't really prepare for that anyway.

Let me tell you a true story that illustrates the real futility of thinking you can totally prepare for events. There was a guy in California in the 30's who was certain that war was coming, and told everyone he was getting out while the getting was good. He expected gunships bombarding the coast, so he moved as far away from the action he expected as he could get. The place he chose was an island as far away from anywhere important as he could get. Its name was Iwo Jima. Kinda says it all, doesn't it.

-- Paul Davis (davisp1953@yahoo.com), October 22, 1998.


Oh Mary, It Happenned to me. We started preps in Nov/97, and by Feb/98 I've worked myself into a depression hole. While doing preparations. It was compounded by the abject denials I found in my family/friends, when I gave them the warnings, and the information. I climbed out of the hole by letting myself feel the terror, and crying for a couple of very bad days, and now we are back at preparations. It was like cleansing myself. I'm convinced now we all have to go tru this process. We are here, you are not alone. Faith!!

-- Eli Talge (talge@usa.net), October 22, 1998.

Mary: I got that same feeling last night reading Infomagic's post. But you (and I) will do far better to not be swayed by any one single opinion. Some things I am convinced of:

It's not a hoax and at least some disruptions will occur. Therefore, at least some preparation (within my means) is prudent.

No, I can't afford to bug-out in style (or even without style). Most of us can't. So I choose to make my stand where I am. But I will stand better those around me also prepare.

No one from the church ministers to the programmers to Koskinen to North to Hamaski to Infomagic has a crystal ball and can tell us the full extent of what WILL happen. No single person has a lock on the truth here. Why?

Because the future has not yet been written. Fate is an illusion born out of our unjustified fear and belief that we are somehow insignificant and powerless and cannot make decisions today that will change tomorrow. But fate is biggest lie of them all.

We can change tomorrow both for ourselves and our communities but we must first choose to do so. But then we must be willing to work hard for the choices we have made. Choose the future you want.

Infomagic chooses a very dark future indeed. I choose a much better one and I am willing to work for it.

This is the largest, most complex, most intricate problem I've ever faced in my lifetime. Fear, depression, anxiety, sleep loss, are all to be expected but remember, ONLY ACTION will help.

My concern is justified. My fear will help if and only if it prompts me to take reasoned, thought out action. If it paralyzes me, it is of negative value. Decisions made in panic will hurt, not help.

Breaks are necessary. So is vigilance. So is preparation.

Finally, I can't fix this all by myself and that's not my fault. It's not yours either. We all have to have help.

Now go take some of the advice from earlier in this thread and go make some of those yummy banana chips and eat a few while you're at it.

Arnie

-- Arnie Rimmer (arnie_rimmer@usa.net), October 22, 1998.


Mary:

Just a followup. I found this link published today at the Westergaard site and thought it was quite applicable:

http://www.y2ktimebomb.com/Computech/Issues/bnof9842.htmht tp://www.y2ktimebomb.com/Computech/Issues/bnof9842.htm

Arnie

-- Arnie Rimmer (arnie_rimmer@usa.net), October 22, 1998.



Oooops, sorry, that should have been:

http://www.y2k timebomb.com/Computech/Issues/bnof9842.htm


-- Arnie Rimmer (arnie_rimmer@usa.net), October 22, 1998.

Mary,

I know how you feel and am very much in the same boat with limited finances, family members in denial/apathy, and intermittent paralyzing emotions. I am ashamed to say I have spent part of the last few weeks channel surfing until wee hours with the TV, which I have never, never done in my entire life. What am I doing? I think I was either trying distract myself from the pain and horror or else looking for intelligent life out there, some semblance of sanity. Anyway, I realize now that security and comfort and life and health that I have taken for granted has always been a fragile curtain. We have to put ourselves in God's hand and know that He holds the keys to life, death, and our future and everything else that is incomprehensible. Thank you for sharing your frustrations. Now I don't feel so alone. Too bad we couldn't all meet for a weekly support group and cry and hug and whatever else they do in AA meetings and the like.

***************** Arnie,

I have been here for a about month, and I have noticed I can always tell which ones are your posts even before I get down to the signature because yours are the most encouraging, helpful, sincere, honest and just plain practical. Are you a therapist, counselor, medical practioner, or pastor? If not, perhaps consider being a pre and post- 00 community leader. Thanks for being such a help and for being positive.

-- Donna Mittelstedt (dmittels@csuhayward.edu), October 22, 1998.


Mary, I hope you have been helped by the caring people who have posted here. If you can find just one local person to be a "support group," that could help--better if more. Perhaps you could invite such people over for some snacks, and discuss together what you're doing to prepare, thus getting practical ideas from each other. I have such support so I do not feel all alone in this situation. As a great granny, I've been through a whole lot of mental, emotional, and physical pain, but my faith has always pulled me through. And, the prayers and care of fellow believers, too. This situation, like any of life's challenges, takes a lot of personal discipline: practical preparation; refusing to be defeated by negativism, etc., such as those above have stated. Next time you feel depression coming over you, order it to go! And take action! I just said a prayer for you; it will help!

-- Holly Allen (holly3325@juno.com), October 22, 1998.

Hi Mary,

Go to the archives, then the Misc section. Select the: 'ever feel like you can't go on' thread.

Lots of good personal survival strategies there.

Good Luck.

-- Bob Barbour (r.barbour@waikato.ac.nz), October 22, 1998.


I heard a quote the other day by Corrie Ten Boom. She was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp.

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrows; it empties today of strength."

Worry about nothing; pray about everything!

-- Louise (~~~~~@~~~~.~~~), October 22, 1998.



This is from an e-mail received by the Y2k Weatherman (Dallas, Tex) and then sent on to the 7,000 plus on his mailing list. The writer is a lady from the Ozarks who has traveled the world in the ministry. I quote (in part): Get in touch with the fact that millions of people live right this minute in harsh and severe deprivation. Yet, those same people often find joy and happiness in the simplest of pleasures. Practice doing that now. Appreciate the air, birds, rocks, everything. (and esp your God)

-- ronbanks (phxbanks@webtv.net), October 22, 1998.

Donna: You asked:

> I have been here for a about month, and I have noticed > I can always tell which ones are your posts even before > I get down to the signature because yours are the most > encouraging, helpful, sincere, honest and just plain > practical. Are you a therapist, counselor, medical practioner, > or pastor? If not, perhaps consider being a pre and post-00 > community leader. Thanks for being such a help and for being > positive.

Thanks! Actually, none of the above. My educational background is in software engineering. My career is a mixture of software engineering, systems development and network administration -- though those are just a few of the loves of my life. Science, music, outdoors, flying, technology, astronomy, physics, birds, cats, dogs, philosophy, and a great many other thing are also interests to one degree or another.

I believe most of words comes from my mother who always taught us to believe in ourselves and in our ability to make choices, especially when the chips were down. She also taught us never to run from trouble unless it really did solve the problem. This is one of those problems that you just can't run from. We must deal with it. She instilled in us from an early age that we are seldom truly helpless unless we choose to be so.

Still, I strongly relate to the feelings being expressed here - because I continue to go through all of them myself and will continue to do so. I get depressed, frightened, unsure, even angry and a bit cynical (see my post today on AARP for a good example).

I'm here for several reasons, not the least of which is to try to have a positive impact where I can. My community is simply not ready to listen (in mass) and we all know how impossible it is to shove Y2K down someone's throat. Still, I continue to try to raise awareness incrementally, mostly with one-on-one conversations and very small groups. I get a lot of good advice here myself as well as additional perspectives, both good and bad. I need to be with people who are actively discussing and exploring these issues and finding ways of dealing with them - it's theraputic in a very real way.

Arnie

-- Arnie Rimmer (arnie_rimmer@usa.net), October 22, 1998.


Mary

Been there done that more than once, this was before I found out about Y2K. It sucks big time, no doubt. Dont know a really fail-safe method that always works, but go out and take a walk. FORCE YOURSELF, or have hubby force you. It will start the healing. Also, try St. Johns Wort, I have found it helpful when things start to darken. I do not know how long you have been aware, but the depression will pass, then return, then pass again, with lessening severity each time.

I hope that this helps you in some small way.

PS. When I was a teen and folks were worried about the BOMB ending life as we know it, I used this silly rationalization that I came up with to lessen the fear of those who I knew (including myself):

Think about it, one of two things is gonna happen, they do not drop the bomb and everything is OK, or they do drop the bomb, and you die, and everything is OK.

I hope you feel better soon!!!!

"When I can't handle events, I let them handle themselves."

-Henry Ford

I now digress

Arcy

I was afraid you were MIA, you lurker you.

-- Uncle Deedah (oncebitten@twiceshy.com), October 22, 1998.


Mary,

My deepest, darkest Y2K depression came to a head one night I was visitng Kansas City with my mother. I have ALWAYS loved KC, and go there as often as I can. Well it just so happens I was there when the Wired article came out and I sat down in a Borders and read it. I broke down right there. I had already been studying Y2K and that article just put me over the top. So crying is good...crying in a public place is not good:)

Since then I have gotten "better" but I do still get down at times. I have found Y2K has done one good thing for me, it has made me appreciate what I have all that much more. I have taken to going out and driving very late at night when no one else is around (like 2 or 3 AM) and you will see your surroundings in a whole new way. You appreciate the calm and the serenity.

If you feel the angry type of depression, then let it out. Scream if you have to, punch something, get that tension out. I tend to beat the living beegeesus out of inanimate objects:)

Just try to calm down, stap back from the computer and go out and appreciate life while you can. If we don't enjoy everyday for what its worth, then Y2K has already won.

Rick

-- Rick Tansun (ricktansun@hotmail.com), October 22, 1998.


Mary,

dittos, I understand. My frustrations are in the fact that few understand. Greed drives the world. Let Gods love drive yours.

He clothes the flowers of the field how much more will he clothe you if you believe and obey. The wise man forsees the evil and hides himself but the simple pass on and are punished.

I find these times exciting. Wow, what a time to be alive. Think of all the historical events in the past. Have you ever wished you could have actually witnessed history. Well you will. Even if Y2K is not the "bugger bear" some expect, we will see the prophetical fulfillment of the new millenium.

Do all you can and let God do the rest.

ww

-- WAYNE WITCHER (WWITCHER@MVTEL.NET), October 22, 1998.



Mary, I just want to add my hug, too. The emotions of this situation are so intense and complex that we all slide down the loop from time to time. You have received wonderful bits of advice here; the trick now is to consciously choose to follow whatever pieces of it feel most attractive to you. Just pick one or two, and DO it, however unmotivated you feel. That lethargy has a kind of inertia to it, but you CAN interrupt it.

There's no way, it seems to me, to understand this mess we're in without experiencing periods of really profound grief--for ourselves, our loved ones, for all the world and all its best dreams. And a sneaky part of grief is that it can make you feel guilty about feeling good. "What right do I have to laugh and enjoy when the world is in such crisis?" But we have every right, just because we ARE. And because it's healthy and strength-producing. Try keeping a daily journal of things you have noticed during the day that are beautiful, or kind, or that triggered your sense of appreciaton. It will help you look for those things.

If you want to find y2k-concerned people in your area, register here: http://www.webpal.org/list.htm

Meanwhile, you have friends here.

-- Faith Weaver (faith-weaver@usa.net), October 22, 1998.


Mary, we all care about you and know what you are going through since we all, at different times, have been there. Arcy's advice was right on. That IS how I cope with it and just what I try to do. :-) Faith is so important...without it, there is no hope. By all means, pray everyday that the Lord will give you peace as you face all these uncertainties. You will be amazed at how He can comfort you! Blondie

-- Blondie Marie (Blondie@future.net), October 22, 1998.

Boy, I can't say thanks enough to everyone who encouraged me yesterday. I am feeling much better and was even able to get alot done last night. It also helped to have my husband talk about the Focus on the Family program yesterday. He is very concerned about Y2K but is so busy at work that we just don't seem to talk about what preparations we can do together. We talked for a long time and are going to be working through this together and this really helped me so I don't feel so alone in dealing with it all. Because I am a home maker I will do a lot of the leg work on things, but he wants to go over our plans together and that I can handle. God bless you all and thanks for taking the time to encourage me yesterday. Mary

-- Mary Howe (doesnotmatter@thistime.com), October 23, 1998.

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