I am afraid they can get a charging order over the property ijn respect of your wife's share of the ownership of the property. As to a forced sale - that is down to the judge - I am afraid that the fact you have small children does not come into the equation and following a charging order, you are likely to, eventually, be forced into a sale situation. The judge has no option buy to follow the law - he/she might give you some time to sell the property yourself, but if push comes to shove, the lender can force a sale, either through the charging order, or through your wife's bankruptcy.(posted 7041 days ago)What your wife must do now is follow the advice on previous cases - see if the claim is statute barred first, if not, then SARN the lender and make them prove their claim. (I am, for this answer, assuming she has not already been taken to court)
You really do need to seek the help of a professional who can negotiate or mitigate the claim - remember that lenders have settled for as little as 10% of what they initially claim is due - coming to a settlement with them might be your best way forward.