I'm not sure why you're so concerned about your estranged husband being contacted. It may be difficult for you to discuss this on a public board. Maybe you'd like to contact me privately about this?(posted 7767 days ago)But I would just make the point that up till now he's seemingly been in a position where it's been you - and only you - who has been pursued by the lender, and you've presumably had to go through all this on your own? Have you not told him what you've been going through? I guess not.
I think it's incredible of you to try to protect his liabilities like this - and maybe the best thing you can do for him is tell him to look at this site - but as the posts above suggest I reckon that the lender will reserve its 'right' to go after him. I'm afraid it's just what they do.
You have done what you can by asking them to accept a settlement binding on all parties, including both borrowers.
I can't give legal advice, I'm not qualified, but I would reiterate the sentiments expressed above that you must regard your own health as a priority.
Sorry not to have been of more help, M. My own ex-shortfall was not a 'joint' liability so my experience and knowledge is of limited use to you and your particular circumstances.